Catharsis
by ManchesterSide
Summary: As a human Cas has been experiencing headaches and it worries Dean. Established Destiel, a tad porny and a bit fluffy
1. Chapter 1

Cas felt a dull throbbing at the base of his skull. He brought a hand up to cup the nape of his neck. He applied a small amount of pressure hoping to ease the oncoming migraine. This is how they all started. A small ache turned into a full blown migraine within the hour. The first time it happened he had curled into a ball on Dean's bed and tried to avoid crying out. The pain was unlike anything he had ever felt. Of course when he was an angel physical pain had been something wholly unknown to him. A small flicker of annoyance had been his indication that his vessel was damaged. He heaved a sigh and moved off the couch. He knew that before long the light of the living room would be unbearable. It was better that he move into the dark bedroom before the pain became so intense that he could not walk. He did not want a repeat of the time Dean had to carry him to bed. As if experiencing these mind shattering headaches wasn't enough humiliation, a human had carried him. It wasn't any human but still Cas felt a flare of shame when he remembered this.

It was most convenient that he was alone in the house right now. Dean and Sam had both left hours ago to investigate a possible supernatural occurrence one town over. He was not expecting to see them for a few days but he knew that Dean would call him soon depending on what they found. Maybe if he got a few hours of sleep before that phone call he wouldn't have to worry Dean. Regardless he had no intention of informing Dean of his current condition yet somehow he always knew. It did not matter if Cas tried to hide the pain in his voice or avoid wincing when the normal tone of conversation became too loud, Dean always knew. But Dean also knew how fragile Cas' ego had been since becoming human.

He mastered a reaction as soon as he realized that Cas was hiding how much pain he was in. He would squint his eyes and trace them up and down Cas' body as if searching for physical wounds. If they were in company he would make up an excuse that always involved himself and would steer the pair of them out of the room. As soon as he could he would make sure that Cas was lying down. He never asked if Cas was okay. He never said more than three words above a whisper the entire time. He would simply make sure Cas laid out on the bed while walked around the length of the room eliminating noise. The first few times Dean had done this Cas watched him with intrigue. He didn't understand why Dean was going through all of these motions. Why he was trying so hard to ease Cas' pain. It occurred to him one day though that Dean was taking care of him. After soundproofing the room, Dean would pull up a chair and start to read while Cas tried to fall asleep.

Sometimes though the pain would become too much and he would start a mantra of whimpering that he could not quite control no matter how hard he tried. It was at those times that Dean would set down whatever book he happened to be flipping through and lay down softly next to him. Cas would feel the strong calloused fingers running lightly through his hair and a whispered voice at his neck telling him it would be okay. It didn't take the pain away but it did distract him. Cas could focus on the soft mutterings and the earthly scent that came from Dean. He was alone now though. He did not need Dean to take care of him but it did make him feel less alone. Slowly he pulled the door shut and winced slightly at the light from the hall. He laid himself flat on the bed and tried not to move. The headache had already moved to the center of his skull and was threatening to overtake his vision. He let out a small breath and tried to think of other things, anything that would distract him enough to sleep. He thought about the last time Dean had a nightmare. How he heard a breathy "Cas" come from across the bed. Instinctively he had rolled over and grabbed for Dean. He hadn't been able to cure the nightmares as he once did but he could offer some comfort. Unfortunately he was not well versed in human comfort. He tried to mimic the things Dean had done to comfort him in the past. Slowly he ran his fingers up an exposed back. He felt Dean draw closer into him and lay his head on Cas' chest. The warmth felt pleasant and he felt an almost immediate change in breathing coming from Dean. Once again he ran his fingers down the other man's back before asking

"Bad one?" Normally his sentences were far more structured but tiredness was making his eyes ache and he was having trouble forming sentences. He adopted a quick style that was more in line with Dean's speech patterns.

"Yeah. It was hell" Dean replied. Even exhausted and terrified he was attempting to make light of the pain he still endured. Cas felt a heavy weight drop into his stomach and wished more than anything he could take away all of Dean's memories of hell. He knew he couldn't and he wasn't sure Dean would even let him. Cas remembered that they had fallen back asleep in that position. The next morning they did not speak of the nightmare or the weakness that transpired through the night. They did not need to speak of it. They understood that they were both carrying around enormous weights and very little could be done to alter that. Cas felt sleep washing over him and was grateful.

What felt like only minutes later he was shocked awake by his phone on the nightstand ringing. He did not need to check who was calling. It had to be Dean. He hit answer and dropped the phone onto his face. He let his arm drop down to his side knowing gravity would keep the phone in place.

"Hello Dean" he said

"Hey Cas. Looks like we have a dead end here so we should be home in a few hours" Dean said quickly.

"Oh good" Cas replied attempting to keep the sounds of sleep from his voice. It didn't work.

"Are you sleeping?" Dean asked him with a note of suspicion in his voice.

"I may have taken a nap" Cas answered

"Headache again?" Dean asked

"No. I did not sleep well without you last night honey, darling, sweetie pie" Cas answered sarcastically hoping to derail the line of questioning.

"Gross." Dean sighed. They both knew Cas was lying.

"Well go back to sleep. I'll see you when I get home" Dean spoke into the silence of their phone call. Cas was struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Okay. Bye Dean" he ended lamely before tiling his head to the side so the phone would drop next to him. He watched to make sure Dean ended the phone call before falling back into a deep sleep.

A few hours later and he was jolted awake by Dean throwing his jacket across his feet. He groaned slightly and turned over.

"How are you feeling?" Dean asked him.

"Mmm what is that fruit humans use to describe feeling fine?" Cas answered half asleep

"Peaches?" Dean asked

"Yes. That's right. I am feeling peaches" Cas said with a small smile. Dean laughed quietly while he stripped out of his shoes and socks.

"You're peachy?" Dean asked as he perched himself on the bed. Cas felt himself roll towards Dean slightly when the weight of the mattress shifted.

"Yes. Quite peachy" Cas answered. He felt Dean's hand drag across his lower jaw.

"You do feel fuzzy" Dean joked. Dean let his fingers travel from Cas' jaw, down his neck, and stop short of his collarbone before repeating the motion in reverse.

"Are you saying I need to shave" Cas asked. He arched his back slightly stretching out the muscles sleep had stiffened before moving his head closer to Dean's knee. This gave Dean wider access to Cas' skin. He took the hint and traced his fingers down the side of Cas' arm and back up again. Dean shook his head in response to the question. For a few moments neither of them said anything. It was taking Cas a great deal of effort to avoid falling back asleep. The pads of Dean's fingers lightly brushing against his skin was very soothing and if he didn't think about it too hard it wasn't at all erotic. Cas felt the mattress move before he felt Dean's lips planted soft on his neck.

"I hate to tell you this but you don't taste like peaches" Dean breathed. He felt the breath from Dean's words spread across his skin and had to pull his bottom lip into his mouth. He bit down and avoided pulling Dean on top of him. He was worried that too much physical exertion might trigger the headache. Though sleep had gotten rid of the pain he still felt the left over sensitivity tugging at his senses. He released a breath and asked

"What do I taste like then?"

Dean let out a small noise and lowered his lips to Cas' skin once again. He felt a small wetness replaced by a nibble.

"Soap" Dean answered trying to hide a small smirk by kissing Cas again.

"That was not very sexy" Cas replied disappointed.

"Did you want sexy? I was trying to be honest" Dean asked not bothering to conceal his smirk. Cas shrugged his shoulders and looked pointedly away.

"You taste like" Dean trailed off as he lowered his lips to Cas once more. " The first sip of beer after a long day" he paused and contemplated Cas' skin "and the melted ice cream on top of pie" he paused again "and the bite of pickle you get when you eat a hamburger"

"Wow Dean. That was beautiful poetry and imagery" Cas said in the most serious tone he could muster.

"Shut up" Dean replied quickly going red and pushing himself away. Cas grabbed at him and pulled Dean down on top of him. He kissed him lightly before saying

"I am serious. If this hunting thing does not work out, you could have a real career as a poet" Dean pushed himself off Cas completely. He continued his offended act all the way to the bathroom.

"Last time I say something sexy to you" Cas heard him whisper.

"How was the hunt?" Cas asked through the half opened bathroom door. He could hear Dean starting a shower.

"Eh, more natural less super" Dean answered a bit louder than he normally would so Cas could hear him over the shower.

"Is Sam downstairs?" Cas wondered aloud.

" Yeah. I told him to start dinner. Maybe you should go check on him" Dean requested. Cas heard the clinks of the metal shower curtain hooks sliding down the pole. The ruffling of the curtain was close behind. Dean was stepping into the shower and for a moment Cas was torn. Part of him wanted to join Dean. To drop onto his knees in front of him while fingers grasped roughly through his hair. He thought about the five hour nap he had just needed to overcome the tremendous amount of pain he had been in and directed himself out of the room. He let out a small sigh when the last thing he heard was Dean humming contently from inside the bathroom.

Walking down the hall he could hear exasperated noises and cupboards slamming coming from the kitchen.

"Sam?" he asked tentatively as he rounded the corner.

"Uh yeah?" was the answer Cas heard. He walked into the kitchen to find Sam with a terrified look on his face. He was standing in front of the oven and his long hair hung in his eyes.

"Do you require assistance?" Cas asked while looking around at the mess that was the kitchen. He noticed chicken was laid out on the counter and that a variety of spices littered the table. Sam stared at him with a pleading look that plainly said 'help me'. Though he was still a Winchester so his pride kept him from voicing the need aloud. Instead he simply said "If you wanted to help" Cas shook his head slightly and made towards the chicken. Sometimes he forgot how alike Sam and Dean really were. He pulled three frozen chicken breasts from the bag and tried to avoid making a face. This was poor quality chicken and had he still been an angel he would have flown off and slaughtered proper chickens for them to eat. Of course, had he still been an angel there would be no reason for him to felt a melancholy rise up within him and tried to beat the thoughts back. There was no point in lamenting the loss at the moment. Dinner needed to be made and he could always feel sorry for himself later when he was trying to sleep.

He had spent so many nights tossing and turning trying to become comfortable with the idea of being human that Dean had noticed and questioned him about it. The resulting conversation was difficult. Dean already carried the burden of so much, Cas had not wanted to place anything else on those shoulders. He had shrugged a simple excuse about not being used to sleeping. He wasn't lying. He hadn't been used to sleeping. The fact that his body needed to shut down for hours at a time was unnerving, repulsive even. It made Castiel feel weak and vulnerable. What if while he had his eyes closed some monster came and attacked him or Dean? He could no longer protect Dean much less himself. It was because of his adjustment problems that he had taken up hiding in the library at night. He would read until he was tired enough that the depressing memories of being an angel were far from his thoughts. Quietly he would slip back into the room he shared with Dean and pass out. This worked well for roughly a week before Dean woke from a nightmare and panicked when Cas was not laying beside him. When Dean burst into the library and found Cas curled up on a chair reading he yelled at him.

"What are you doing down here?" Cas was bewildered. He could not understand at the time why Dean should be so angry that he was reading so he answered honestly

"Reading?"

"Why aren't you asleep, why aren't you..." Dean had trailed off.

"What Dean? What is the problem?" Cas had asked. Dean looked at the ground. Under his breath he let out a reply "Nothing. I just had a nightmare and you weren't there. I.."

"Worried?" Cas finished for him. Dean licked his lips and glanced up at Cas before staring at the ground again. Dean did not answer but Cas had not needed him to. Ever since he became human he understood Dean more than he ever did before. It was the best thing about becoming human. He was flooded with emotions and more insecurities than he was comfortable claiming. But suddenly he had understood why it had been so hard for Dean all these years. Emotions made him uncomfortable too. He wasn't sure if it was a neurosis he picked up from Dean or one that was a lasting effect of having his emotions on a dimmer switch for all these years. Dean let out a small sigh.

"Seriously why are you down here?" Dean asked again. His voice had returned to its normal tone and he was dragging his fingers through his hair.

"I could not sleep" Cas answered. While his tone was innocent enough Dean still squinted skeptically at him.

"Have you done this before?" Dean asked while he looked accusingly at the book Cas held in his hands.

"Read? Yes. I have been alive for thousands of years so I have had the opportunity" Cas answered avoiding the question Dean was actually asking. Dean was not placated however. He raised his eyebrows and shot Cas' an exasperated look.

"Have you came down to the library because you couldn't sleep before?" Dean explicitly questioned.

"Yes." Cas answered simply. He was only going to volunteer information that was directly asked of him. He was not lying to Dean but he was also not burdening him with the truth.

"How often?" Dean asked. Cas' felt his heart sink a little. He could not get out of a direct line of questioning. He wondered briefly if there was another human rhetoric device he could use that would answer Dean's question but not reveal the whole truth. He decided at this point there was no use in lying. He had been caught and avoiding the question would just upset Dean.

"All week" Cas said nonchalantly.

"ALL week?" Dean repeated

"Yes. I have been having trouble sleeping. Reading helps." Cas explained.

"Why haven't you told me?" Dean questioned

"I did not think it was relevant. It has not been an issue until tonight." Cas responded.

"Hmm. Well come back upstairs. We can talk about it in the morning" Dean had suggested. Cas knew there was a hidden agenda behind his request. He had wanted Cas to be in bed with him. Though, Dean would never say it, Cas knew he felt safer when he was around. He placed the scrap of paper he was using as bookmark between the two pages and closed the book. Dean turned and walked out of the room. Cas followed him. He had not noticed what Dean was wearing before but took advantage of his position behind him to observe. Dean was shirtless and his back muscles stuck out in a pleasing manner. He had plain black boxer briefs on. They also hugged him in a pleasing manner. Cas wondered if he could convince Dean to partake in some sexual deviancy before falling asleep again. It seemed they both needed a distraction. When they reached their bedroom Cas quickly caught up with Dean. He brought his hands to Dean's hips and turned him around. He backed him into a wall and was pressed against him before Dean could do anything.

"Cas?" Dean asked. Cas responded by kissing down Dean's chest and sneaking his hand into the boxer briefs.

"Cas.. wait" Dean said before he gasped because Cas had wrapped his hand around a quickly hardening cock.

"I think we both need a distraction" He explained.

"Cas" a voice sounded from his left. Sam was standing next to him. Clearly he had just asked him a question but he had been caught up in a memory. He shook his head slightly and focused on Sam.

"I am sorry. What?" He asked.

Sam pulled a skeptical face and repeated the question "What side dish should I make?"

Cas thought for a minute. Rice would be too complicated.

"Could you manage a salad?" he asked. He had not meant to sound so condescending but Sam had pulled him away from a rather good memory. Sam simply laughed off the condescension and replied "Yeah, I think I could manage it." Sam walked over to the fridge and began pulling out the required ingredients. Cas watched him for a moment. There was something excellent about Sam that he could not quite explain. Perhaps it was the years of dealing with Dean's sass or perhaps it was all the suffering that had made him wise but he never really got angry. Given the right circumstance, if Dean had been threatened, Sam could be an unholy nightmare but for the most part he always managed to laugh off minor insults. It was one of the ways he was very unlike Dean. Cas respected Sam for this ability.

"I am sorry about that. I was just..in my head"

Sam looked over at him for a moment. "It's alright. My cooking skills are pretty subpar"

Cas could not think of a response to Sam's self degradation. He simply nodded and finished washing the chicken.

"What were you thinking about?" Sam asked casually.

"Oh..uhm" Cas replied quickly. He could not think of a lie fast enough.

"Never mind" Sam said. A red flush was working its way up Cas' neck. He could feel the heat and stared at the spices laid out in front of him. Suddenly how to season the chicken was a great deal more interesting than normal.

A few hours later Cas was curled up under the small light located in the corner of the bedroom. He looked over the edge of his current read to watch Dean roll over in his sleep. One leg was thrown over the empty side of bed that Cas usually occupied. He heard Dean give a small snore before he drew his eyes back to his book. He had really tried to fall asleep. He had laid down with Dean and felt as he fell asleep at Cas' side. Their sleeping issues were opposites. Dean could easily fall asleep anywhere at any time but he could rarely stay asleep for longer than four hours. Cas could not fall asleep easily ever but instead tossed and turned until he wore himself out. Once he was asleep though he would not wake up again until it was time to. For some reason he never experienced dreams. It frustrated him. He always believed one of the great things about being human was the ability to dream but the power eluded him. Though, perhaps he should feel grateful. His dreams would undoubtably be as terrible as the ones he watched Dean experience. He didn't really need the dreams to keep him awake.

He heard Dean move around in the bed again. This roll was more frantic. He watched for more movement. When Dean started moving once again Cas laid his book down. He got up from his position and felt an ache behind his knees. He had not realized how long he had been sitting in the same spot. His muscles protested as he walked towards the bed. Shifting his weight around he got into bed as lightly as he could manage. Dean's previous roll had left his side of the bed clear. He had no way of knowing for sure but Cas had a feeling that he should be laying next to Dean if he woke up. Cas had several occasions to observe Dean's sleeping behaviors but it never stopped making Dean uncomfortable until he had become human. It was at Dean's request that he stopped making nightly trips to the library but instead brought his books to their room and read.

"I don't want to keep you awake with the light" Cas had protested.

"After years of sleeping in motels? I'm used to it." Dean had replied. Cas could not think of an argument against it and he had no preference about which room he read in. Since then the nightly ritual was standard. Cas would lay down and wait until Dean fell asleep before getting up and continuing from the place he left off the night before. He had finished ten books already. It would have been a larger number but he had a hard time reading on the nights that Dean was out hunting. His mind was easily sidetracked by the thoughts of Dean and Sam being killed. Since the loss of his powers he had wanted to become a hunter, to try and be as useful as possible. Dean had agreed to take Cas with them on the next hunt they encountered. When it happened, a werewolf in Reno, it became clear that Cas had very little experience with weapons handling. While he still retained most of the knowledge he had as an angel very little of his strength remained. It was painfully obvious that he had the capacity of a human. Dean had refused to let him come on another hunt until he had passed a series of tests. He was still in the process of proving he could handle a handgun. Blades had been easy for him. He had wielded one as an angel and the muscle memory came flooding back to him. It was his preference to carry one on a hunt but Dean was convinced that he needed to become well rounded in all weapons handling.

Cas let out a small sigh as he continued to watch the hunter sleep. The movements had ceased. He was wondering if this was a false alarm and he might be able to continue reading. Very suddenly he felt Dean jerk next to him. His eyes flashed open and his breathing was quicker than normal. Cas shot out a hand and laid it across Dean's chest. Dean pulled into him. Cas said nothing. There was nothing to be said. Dean's breathing slowed once again. Cas waited a few more moments before he assumed it was safe to get out of bed. He lifted his upper body off the mattress and was about to swing a leg off the side when he felt Dean's hand wrap around his wrist.

"Stay" he muttered sleepily. His eyes were still closed. As soon as Cas laid back down Dean moved over and laid his head on the now horizontal chest. A arm snaked around his side. A small sad smile wove its way over Cas' face. He eyed the book that was still propped open on his vacated seat. That position was going to cause the jacket flap to permanently stay open a pet peeve of his but there was little to be done about it now. Dean was wrapped around him and had asked him to stay. He might as well try to fall asleep.

Cas awoke in their darkened room alone. He always slept late because of his inability to fall asleep reasonably. Luckily their room had no windows so he was never forced awake by the bright hateful rays of the sun. He rolled over and blinked the sleep away from his eyes. The bed next to him was cool. Dean had probably gotten up hours ago. He stretched and sat up. His eyes fell on the book he remembered was left open last night. It was closed and piece of paper stuck out from the top. Cas dropped his chin to his chest and smiled. Dean was certainly not a sappy romantic but he never failed to show that he did care. It was in small details that other people may have overlooked but for Cas they stood out like beacons. Slowly he stepped out of bed and made his way to the shower. If he wasn't mistaken it smelled as if food was being prepared.

A shower fresh Cas sat down at the table a half an hour later. Dean was standing in front of the stove flipping a sandwich over on a pan. He set the spatula down and noticed Cas was sitting at the table expectantly.

"Can I help you with something?" Dean asked playfully.

"What are we having?" Cas questioned

"We?" Dean said. Cas looked at the two sandwiches already on plates.

"I cannot help but notice there are three sandwiches prepared" Cas explained. Dean nodded his head slightly. He pursed his lips and made an impressed face.

"I'm very hungry" Dean said while he shrugged his shoulders. He grabbed one of the sandwiches off the plate and took a large bite out of it. Cas frowned and tried to look extremely put out. Dean heaved a dramatic sigh before saying "But, I guess I could part with one of them" He walked over to the table and dropped the sandwich he had just taken a large bite out of in front of Cas. Cas frowned again but before he could protest Dean left a soft kiss on his cheek. In spite of himself he smiled.

"You smell nice" Dean whispered.

"I used your soap. I need to buy more" Cas explained.

"Oh. I smell damn good. How do you keep your hands off of me" Dean said slyly backing away from Cas. Cas couldn't help the smile but rolled his eyes. Dean walked back over to the stove and continued monitoring its progress. Cas watched him for a moment before remembering the sandwich in front of him. He picked it up and nibbled around the corners. A slice of avocado fell into his mouth and he contemplated it.

"What kind of sandwich is this?" He asked.

"Grilled cheese with avocado and tomato" Dean answered without taking his eyes off the stovetop.

"You like?" Dean asked.

"Compliments to the chef is appropriate here right?" Cas asked

"Yes but I don't really want your compliments" Dean answered looking at Cas with hooded eyes. Cas inferred the implication but played along.

"What would you like from me?" He asked

"Hmm" Dean dramatically prolonged his contemplating. "I wouldn't say no to your mouth around my cock"

Cas licked his lips and tried to act coy. It was difficult. He could not stop the smile etched into his face.

"I am not sure... I think I have an appointment after breakfast" Cas said focusing his eyes on his food. If he didn't look at Dean he could keep a straight face.

"An appointment in the training room?" Dean asked seriously. Cas shrugged his shoulders as he said "Maybe?" It was Dean's turn to try and hide a smile. It became easier for him however when Sam walked in the room. Cas returned to his sandwich innocently. Dean flipped the last sandwich onto a plate and walked over to Sam who was flicking his eyes suspiciously between the pair of them.

"Thanks" Sam said when Dean put the plate on the table. Cas took the last bite of his sandwich. He stood up and opened the dishwasher. He was trying to think of anything that could cover the awkward silence but he was having a hard time thinking about things that weren't sexual and Dean related. He decided to escape the situation altogether.

"I am going to wait in the training room" He announced and backed out of the door before his red flush could give him away. He made his way through the halls until he reached a staircase. The training room and gun range were both downstairs. Normal people had basements but not the Winchesters. They had dungeons and rooms with arsenals, still Cas felt completely comfortable here. The first few weeks after he became human were rough. He could no longer travel anywhere he wanted at any moment. Being confined in one house even a large one was suffocating. Frequently Cas wondered how Dean managed to handle how insolent and sullen he had become. He was moody and barely talked. He would sit at the kitchen table and stare at his own hands without saying a single thing. Dean would come in, make food and talk to Cas the entire time. He never responded but that didn't seem to stop Dean from talking. He would slide food in front of Cas who would apathetically stare at it. The pain of losing his grace infiltrated every single part of him. Breathing, something he never had to do, was a painful reminder of everything he had lost. Cas shuddered and tried to draw his thoughts away from those painful memories. He had decided to stop thinking about his pain in the hopes that it would disappear over time. To an extent it had but, of course, a large portion of that was Dean. He would never let Cas feel depressed for extended periods of time before yelling at him to "get over it". This usually resulted in a scowl from Cas. The only time Cas was allowed to feel depressed without commentary was when a headache overtook him. Those times however were usually interrupted by skull splitting pain. It was hard to feel sorry for himself with his brain throbbing against its encasing. Cas felt hands wrap around his waist and his instincts kicked in. He threw his elbow back and felt it collide with something solid before he rolled out of the grip.

"OW, Cas what the hell?" Dean demanded. He was rubbing the right side of his jaw and staring at Cas in disbelief.

"Oh Dean. I apologize. You surprised me" Cas explained

"So you elbowed me in the face?" Dean asked exasperated.

"It was..instinctual" Cas answered

"Instinctual huh?" Dean asked. Cas felt a strong desire come over him. Dean's tone made it clear that Cas was going to have to make that misplaced elbow up to him.

Dean crossed the few paces between them and crushed his lips onto Cas'. He responded by stepping further into Dean and grabbing at his hips. Their mouths wrestled for control a moment before Cas let Dean take what he wanted. He had wanted intimacy for two days now but things kept getting in the way. He quickly stripped Dean of his shirt and grabbed for the top button on his pants when Dean forced them to kiss again. Cas expected that eventually he would get used to the taste of Dean on his lips but it had not happened yet. Each time Dean kissed him, he had to avoid licking his lips for more. Cas wished more than anything he hadn't wasted so much time as an angel. He hadn't understood desire or attraction. Even then, he knew Dean was different but he didn't really know how. When he first became human it was confusing too. He didn't understand why his heart hammered against his chest every time Dean came close to him or why he felt torn in half whenever they weren't in a room together. He had known about human attraction and what the usual symptoms were but he had never felt it. Cas pulled himself out of his head and dropped to his knees in front of Dean. He fumbled slightly on the zipper in front of him. He tore at the edges of Dean's jeans before they were pooled around his ankles. Cas was tired of foreplay and waiting. He practically ripped Dean's boxer shorts off of him. Without hesitation he wrapped his hand around the base of Dean's cock and brought his mouth around the head. He heard Dean sharply inhale at the contact but he was in no mood to wait. Quickly he brought more of Dean's cock into his mouth. He felt the precum hit his tongue and swallowed eagerly. Cas brought his hands up Dean's legs and left them on the back of his thighs. Dean was being far too quiet. Cas sat up on his knees and brought all of Dean into his mouth. He heard Dean let out a small whimper and had to pull the cock out of his mouth to smirk. The loss of contact made Dean moan.

"Alright, ready to train now?" Dean asked him after they had spent a considerable amount of time collapsed on top of each other.

"I might need pants" Cas answered looking around at the clothes that were scattered everywhere.

"Psh you don't need pants." Dean scoffed. He moved his arms from their position on Cas' back to put them behind his head. Laying on the floor could not have been comfortable for him but he did not ask Cas to move. Cas lifted his head and rested it on his hands still laying on Dean's chest. He stared at Dean without any thought interrupting his gazing. His viewing was interrupted by an image of Sam walking into the training room to see them naked and tangled together. The image made Cas very self conscious. He pushed himself up using Dean as a platform. Dean made a noise when Cas put more of his weight onto Dean's chest. Cas looked around at the scattered clothes, searching for his pants. He noticed them laying under a table in the far back corner of the room. He stood up completely and made his way to the table.

"I have a pretty thorough understanding of physics but I am unsure of how these managed to make it all the way under this table" Cas said as he scooped his pants off the floor.

"It makes even less sense considering I was laying on top of these" Dean said staring at Cas' brief hanging off the tip of his index finger. Quickly he crossed the room to Dean and grabbed for his underwear. Dean was quicker, however, and snapped his hand back away from Cas. He rolled his eyes and reached around Dean's back. Dean moved the underwear out of his reach.

"Really Dean?" Cas asked him still trying to reach his underwear. Dean let out a low laugh and responded "I can't help it. You're very cute when you are naked" Cas could feel himself blush. He would never admit it to Dean but he was very pleased with the skin he was stuck in and it pleased his even more when Dean expressed admiration for it as well. Tired of side stepping Cas, Dean asked "Magic phrase?" Cas dislodged himself from Dean and bit his lip. He knew the next sentence was going to cause him a great deal of pain. He took a deep breath and said as quietly as he could manage "Dean Winchester is the greatest..."

"And?" Dean prompted

Cas scoffed "and the best sex I've ever had"

"That's right baby" Dean said while handing Cas his underwear. Cas snapped the underwear out of Dean's outstretched hand. Dean winked and turned to put on his own clothes. Cas watched as Dean wiggled his hips in a suggestive manner to pull his pants on.

"So where did we leave off last time?" Dean asked while pulling his undershirt over his head.

"Some basic hand to hand but I have told you I do not need that training. I was a warrior of God. I know how to fight" Cas tried to keep the hurt from his voice as he answered. Dean bent down and grabbed his plaid shirt off the floor. He walked over to the table and set the shirt down before he addressed Cas' comment. "I know that Cas. But when you were an angel you had a lot more strength. You need to train" Cas tried to stop the anger that rising in him. He knew Dean was right. He knew that he needed to retrain all of his now human muscles. He couldn't help but feel weak though. Almost as if he could see the thoughts racing through Cas' mind, Dean said "You're not weak Cas. You're just human. Things are different now."

"Right." was all Cas could muster as a response.

"Alright. Come on" Dean said. He moved into the center of the room where mats were laid out. Cas followed him. He watched as Dean moved his fists in front of his face and altered the weight of his stance. He mirrored the movement. There was a moment of disconnect where neither man made a move before Dean quickly threw a right hook and Cas jumped left to avoid it. Cas kicked low while Dean repositioned. He felt his leg make contact but Dean surprised him by wrapping his arm around his leg. Dean used the force of Cas' kick to roll him to the ground. Cas hit the ground and made a small groan. Before he could flip himself back up Dean was straddling him with a cocky look on his face.

"Lucky I am not a vampire. You'd be dead" Dean said. To prove a point Dean pinned Cas' hands to the mat and leaned down to take a small bite out of his neck. Right before his teeth made contact, Cas jolted his hips up and took advantage of catching Dean off guard to switch their positions.

"Now who would be dead?" Cas asked slightly out of breath. Wisely he jumped off of Dean and let him get off the floor. Cas knew that he lacked the strength to keep Dean pinned for long.

Forty-five minutes later and Cas was laying on the ground panting. Dean had just gotten the better of him once again. Dean offered a hand to him. He swung his right arm up and gripped Dean tightly. In one swift movement he was off the floor.

"Why don't we take a break" Dean suggested.

"Sure" Cas responded but he wasn't fooled. Dean had been running circles around him the entire training session. It wasn't that Cas couldn't fight, he just couldn't fight as well as Dean. Of course, Dean had about thirty more years experience being human than he did. It was an unfair advantage Cas reasoned.

"I could use some water, want some?" Dean asked

"Sure" Cas said again attempting to nurse his wounded pride. Dean nodded and walked briskly from the training room. Alone, Cas tried not to feel terrible about his lack of strength. He was trying very hard not to berate himself. He wanted to give up the desire to be a hunter. He could never be any real use to Dean anyway. He would always be a burden. He might as well stop and take up first aide skills instead he thought. He wiped the sweat away from his brow and wondered what the best way to tell Dean he was going to stop training was. Surely, Dean would understand that these sessions were going nowhere and his time was better spent hunting things. Before Cas had a chance to picture Dean's disappointed response a sharp pain exploded behind his eye and all prior thoughts were wiped from his mind. Cas dragged his hands up to his face and clutched at the area. It felt like needles were being stabbed repeatedly into the same area of his skull over and over again. He dropped to his knees and drew his lip into his mouth to avoid crying out. The pain was unbearable. He lost focus on the room in front of him. A painful white light was spreading into his vision. He could no longer contain the screams pouring out of his mouth. Every heartbeat felt like another needle piercing his skull. He cried for a release but none came. What composure he was maintaining melted away and he sunk into a fetal position, both of his hands grasping his skull. He screamed again as his skull throbbed.

"Cas?" he heard Dean ask before everything went dark.

Cas awoke in a cold unfamiliar room. A slow and steady beep from a machine was close by. Confused, he stared at every corner of the room trying to figure out where he was and what had happened. Finally he looked in the front left corner near the head of his bed and saw Dean with his head laid on his chest asleep. Cas shook his head slightly. He felt a small pain in his left arm and looked down. A plastic iv butterfly was stuck in the crook of his arm. He followed the line and saw a clear bag dispensing fluid into his system. He must be in a hospital he reasoned. He did not understand why he was in a hospital though. The last thing he remembered was Dean walking out of the room to acquire water. Cas focused on that memory for a moment before the terrible agony came flooding back to him. He must have passed out. Cas pulled a face. What a ridiculous waste of resources, he thought, Dean must have been scared and drove him to the hospital. Cas let out a small sigh and considered pulling the butterfly from his arm. This was ridiculous, he thought, there was no need for him to be in the hospital. Just as he was reaching over to pull the tube Dean let out a large sigh and stretched. Dean's eyes flew open and immediately found Cas. A small look of relief passed through his face before he said

"Cas! You're alright" Cas contemplated Dean for a moment. Worry lines were etched in his face and there were red marks at the base of his skull where he must have dragged his fingers numerous times.

"I am. Why are we at the hospital" he asked

"You were screaming and then you passed out..." Dean paused for a moment to drag his fingers through his hair "I didn't know what else to do" he finished. Cas had to try very hard not to roll his eyes.

"Dean. I am fine. This is completely unnecessary." Cas said attempting to keep an even tone.

Dean lifted his eyebrows and stared at him. "No. Cas. You are not fine." Dean said with a small trace of anger in his voice. Cas dropped his head onto his chest and thought of an argument that would get them out of the hospital and stop Dean worrying about something so trivial.

"I am sure whatever is happening with these headaches is simply a side effect of changing species. These humans are not going to be equipped to handle this situation." Cas explained calmly.

"We aren't leaving and I don't care if you don't think _these _humans can figure out what's wrong with you. We have to do something" Dean replied and stood up. Cas watched him wince slightly as his muscles straightened.

"I am going to get some coffee do you want something?" Dean asked him as he made his way to the door. Cas turned his head away and stared in the opposite direction. He did not respond to Dean's question. He knew pouting was not the mature response but he did not know how else to handle being stuck in a hospital because Dean worried too much. He could feel Dean staring at him but he did not turn his head. Instead he pretended the wall he was looking at had some very interesting and relevant information that was necessary for his continued survival printed on it.

"Fine" Dean murmured under his breath and walked out of the room. Once he was alone he laid back on the bed. If he was being honest with himself he was exhausted but he did not want Dean to know that. Cas closed his eyes and felt the strong desire to fall back asleep but he forced himself to stay awake. If he fell asleep again it would prove Dean right and then they would never get out of this hospital. He opened his eyes again and focused on the room. It was an individual room that only held the one bed he was currently occupying. Cas wondered how many people Dean had to threaten to accomplish this. He heard footsteps echo down the hall and turned towards the sound. He was intently watching the doorway to take note of who walked by when Sam turned into his room.

"Hey Cas" Sam said when he saw that he was awake. Sam surveyed the room and before Cas could return the greeting he asked "Where's Dean?" Of course the Winchesters were always going to ask about one another before anyone else. Cas tried not to feel too upset about this. He knew that was the nature of the brother's relationship.

"He is acquiring coffee" Cas answered

"Great. How are you feeling?" Sam asked

"Ridiculous" Cas answered honestly. Sam would be more understanding, Cas realized, since he was often on the other end of Dean's worrisome nature.

"Yeah, those hospital gowns will do that" Sam said casually.

"Sam, you have to tell Dean that I do not need to be here." Cas pleaded

"And have him yell at me for not being more concerned about your well-being? No thank you." Sam answered and perched himself on the arm of the chair Dean had vacated. Cas frowned at Sam and said "Coward". Sam let out a small chuckle and shook his head.

"You're one to talk man, fight your own battles" Sam teased. Cas scowled but before he could mount another defense a man in a white coat walked into the room.

"Ah Mr. Winchester, I am Dr. Herbert. I have been assigned your case. How are you feeling?" the doctor asked. For a moment Cas was confused. He did not understand why the doctor was asking Sam how he was feeling when he was the one laying in the hospital bed. Luckily he quickly realized that it was human custom to have a last name. Dean must have given his last name when they admitted him.

"Fine." Cas answered simply. He did not trust this doctor and he did not want the process to take any longer than it needed to.

"It says here" Dr. Herbert pointed to the clipboard he held in his hand "that you have been experiencing headaches"

"Yes." Cas agreed

"How often have you been having them?" Dr. Herbert asked

"I am not sure. I have not been keeping track" Cas answered truthfully. He had not noticed a pattern and had never been worried enough to keep notes of when they happened.

"About twice a week for the last month" Dean's voice answered from the doorway. He was leaning against the door frame avoiding Cas' glare.

"Okay. What would you rate the intensity at? Are these mild, moderate, or extreme?" Dr. Herbert continued his line of questioning. Cas contemplated the question for a moment. Certainly they were extreme sometimes. The last one in particular had been extreme enough that he passed out.

"Moderate" Cas answered.

Several questions later and Cas was being scheduled for a MRI. Still convinced there was nothing wrong with him Cas was ignoring Dean who had an annoyingly smug yet worried look on his face. Cas could practically hear the 'I told you so' swarming around Dean's head. There was a tense silence in the room that Sam had attempted to break several times with no success. Cas was picking at his gown wishing he had a book with him. It would have been easier to ignore Dean's now almost frantic pacing if he had print in front of him. He was not worried but seeing Dean pace was giving him an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. Just as he was about to tell Dean to sit down a woman in dark green scrubs entered the room with a wheelchair. Cas felt a flush rise up his neck and heat his cheeks. He was not completely useless. This was ridiculous. He could walk perfectly fine he argued in his head.

"Can't he just walk?" Dean asked for once since this whole ordeal started siding with Cas. Despite his annoyance he felt a twinge of gratitude. Dean knew that Cas already felt humiliated and that being pushed down the halls of a hospital would not help his pride.

"Nope. Hospital policy and all" the nurse answered briskly. Dean shot Cas an apologetic look. Good, thought Cas, at least he feels sorry for something he is subjecting me to. Cas thought for a brief moment of resisting. Nothing was stopping him from standing up and leaving the hospital. He did not have to take this test. He did not have to find out what was wrong with him. He could walk away and continue his adjustment to human life in peace. He began to plan the bus route home when he heard Dean ask "Can I push him?" The nurse gave Dean a strange look and said "Uh sure I guess".

Cas was not sure that Dean pushing him in a wheelchair was any less humiliating but a tightness in his chest was loosening. Slowly he hung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up. He walked the few paces to the chair and sat down sparing Dean a fleeting glance. The short walk had made him dizzy and he had to resist the urge to put his head between his knees to stop the world from spinning. He did not want to admit that something might actually be wrong with him though so he suffered in silence. Before he had regained composure Dean began backing him out of the room. Cas closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt slightly more stable and chanced opening his eyes again. Dean had walked them out of the room. The nurse was walking a few paces ahead of them leading the way to the correct ward. The further down the hallways they walked the more anxious Cas became. If Dean had not been responsible for their movement Cas would have found himself going in the complete opposite direction. The nurse slowed and veered left to push open a door. She held the door open and Dean pushed Cas through the doorway. Cas felt Dean's hands leave the back of the wheelchair. He turned around to see Dean paused in the doorway unsure of whether he could continue inside. The nurse looked at him expectantly for a moment before saying "You can stay with him" Dean nodded and continued into the room.

"Alright, Mr. Winchester this process is fairly simple. You are going to lay down on this" the nurse patted a slab of metal and plastic before continuing "Once you are situated it will move inside the machine and take the scans. It is important that you lie still otherwise it will take longer." Once she finished explaining she made her way around the machine and began to adjust things Cas could not see. He looked at the machine in front of him and thought it looked like a large portal. The quiet hum of the machine in the room was making him nervous. He began looking around the room hoping something would calm him down. At the back of the room there was another door that led to a smaller room. Cas could not see what was inside.

"Ready?" the nurse asked. He was not ready. He had no idea how humans normally handled these situations. He swallowed hard and felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head slightly to the left and looked up. Dean gave him a reassuring nod and he stood up. He hoisted himself onto the slab. It was not cold but Cas did not like the feeling of his exposed skin touching the machine. He had not been aware of how uncomfortable the hospital gown was until this moment. It was three layers lighter than the usual amount of clothing he wore and it made him feel very vulnerable. Cas looked up at Dean once more, his eyes pleading with him to stay. Dean took a deep breath and walked over to the chair next to the machine and sat down.

"Before we get started, you don't have any metal of any kind on you?" the nurse asked while indicating that Cas should lie back. He shook his head in answer.

"Good. Remember be as still as possible. If you need anything there is a button in the machine you can press" she explained while pointing inside. The machine began to hum a little louder while it pulled the slab holding Cas inside. He tried to drown out his situation but the noise made it hard to concentrate on anything else. Once the slab stopped moving he was staring at the inside of the half circle. It was largely uninteresting. He wondered how long this was going to take and closed his eyes. If he tried extremely hard he could picture himself leaving the hospital intact.

Forty minutes later Dean was pushing Cas back to his room. The scan had been uneventful but Cas was still glad the whole ordeal was over. It was not frightening but it certainly was not comfortable. He considered voicing his complaints to Dean but Cas noticed Dean had been unreasonably quiet ever since the scanning process started. He wished that he could have been walking next to Dean so he could silently investigate by marking Dean's facial features. Instead he attempted to make conversation "Did you happen to inquire about how long the results would take?" Dean did not respond right away but instead continued pushing Cas until they were inside his room.

"They said it might take a little while" he answered briefly. Cas got out of the wheelchair, thankful that he could be in charge of his own movements again.

"Do you know where my clothes are?" Cas asked searching the room with his eyes. Dean squinted at Cas skeptically as he asked "Why?"

"If it is going to take awhile we should go somewhere else. We can go get food or take a walk or anything else" Cas rambled. One look at Dean's reaction and Cas knew that he was not going to leave this room anytime soon.

"...or not" Cas said quietly and sat down on the bed. He knew Dean had more experience being human and he trusted him completely but this seemed a little unnecessary. He was about to voice this opinion when Dean said "Look I know that you think everything is fine and that this is a waste of time but I am not so sure. So please Cas, for me, let's just wait it out."

"Okay" Cas responded and laid back in bed. Maybe Dean had a point. Now that he was laying down again he was feeling worn out. If they were going to stay and wait for the results it could not hurt to take a small nap. He closed his eyes and listened to Dean move around the room.

An unknowable amount of time later Cas was being forced awake. He could hear Dean calling his name quietly and felt a small nudge on his shoulder. Cas made a disgruntled noise and tried to turn away from Dean, away from being awake.

"Come on Cas, they've brought your results in" Dean explained. Cas' eyes shot open. Dr. Herbert was standing at the foot of his bed with a clipboard in hand and an unreadable expression on his face. The next ten minutes went by in a haze of medical jargon. It wasn't until Cas felt a strange tingling sensation in his fingers that he noticed Dean was grasping his hand too tightly. The shock of what he had been told caused a strange disassociation. Even months later the most he could remember from the conversation was the doctor saying "There is a shadow."


	2. Chapter 2

"Come on Cas! We're going to be late" Cas heard Dean shout at him from somewhere near the front of the house. He had been getting ready to go to the doctors for over an hour now. Considering that he was in no hurry it did not bother him in the slightest that they might be late. He could not understand Dean's persistent desire to be on time for every single one of his doctors appointments. He had practically given up hunting to ensure that Cas followed each and every medication given to him. Instead of driving around the United States he was driving Cas to and from various doctor's offices. Since Cas had not learned how to drive yet there was no way he could protest this extreme misuse of time. Cas was beginning to feel as though these doctor's visits were pointless. They always followed the same procedure. Cas would sit quietly on the designated table and Dean would answer all of the doctor's questions for him. Some new and exciting medication would be prescribed to him and then they would leave for the pharmacy. It was boring and none of the medications were making Cas feel any better. At the hospital they had informed him that he had some sort of tumor pressing on an area of his brain. The details, no matter how many times he asked Dean for them, did not stay in his memory. The memory loss was a side effect apparently. Cas hated it. When he was an angel he could have recalled the various pieces of the human brain with relative ease but now he was having trouble remembering anything past 'tumor'. Cas let out a small sigh and flipped the light switch in the bedroom before walking down the hall to find Dean.

"Ready?" Dean asked him as soon as he was in eyesight.

"No." Cas answered surly.

"Great" Dean clapped his hands together "Let's go then" Overall Dean's solution to Cas' increasingly foul mood was to ignore it altogether. He wasn't forcing Cas to be positive which Cas appreciated but he was being determinedly positive about the whole situation. Cas knew he should not be irritated about how Dean was handling him being ill but he could not help it. It seemed to Cas that Dean was in denial about the terribleness of the situation. If Cas was being honest with himself he was jealous. More than anything he wanted to be able to lie to himself and the world and think that he was bound to get better. That all of these doctors visits were actually improving his chances but he had been alive for far too long to embrace these ideas wholeheartedly.

Halfway through the drive Cas became dizzy. He looked over to watch Dean sing along to some song from an era he had no way of remembering. Watching Dean drive and sing reminded him of all the times he had chose to travel with the Winchesters on a hunt. It had only happened a handful of times. He would always consider driving a slow form of travel. Every time it had happened though Dean had teased him relentlessly.

"Not fast enough your highness?" Dean would ask. Cas would sigh dramatically and look extremely put out in response, a trick he learned made Dean smile. He would look out the window and pretend to be bored but when he was sure Dean was focused on the road he would slyly look at the small lines that formed around his mouth. The small smile gave him a strange sensation. He would usually stretch out in the back seat and try to analyze why being around this particular human felt so exhilarating. Why pleasing Dean made him feel anything at all. Unwilling to fully comprehend the true reasoning behind his emotions Cas chalked it up to humanity leaving a mark on him. Unlike some of the other angels though Cas did not mind. He was curious more than anything. After being alive for so long it was pleasant to experience anything new.

Despite his attempts at distraction through memory the dizziness was not receding. He leaned his head on the side of the window and silently wished that Dean would purchase a car with seats that laid back. Cas lost track of time listening to Dean sing quietly. The road was smooth under the tires and it was almost a relaxing experience. Or it would have been if Cas could forget that they were on their way to yet another doctor.

Twenty minutes later they were settling down in uncomfortable leather chairs after checking in at the front desk. Dean had used some fake insurance cards because normal forms of employment was unthinkable. It was part of the reason they had to see so many different doctors. Health insurance fraud while living in one location was far more difficult and dangerous. Impersonating federal agents was no problem but acquiring the funds for all of the medication he had to be on was proving much more difficult.

Cas pulled the oversized jacket he was wearing closer to him. Body temperature fluctuations were still noticeable and bothersome. He could move past the fact that he had to eat multiple times a day, and shower, and use the bathroom but the discomfort he felt when it became too hot or cold was annoyingly prominent. Cas was staring around the room curiously. He saw Dean lean forward from his left and pluck a magazine off the table in front of them. He leaned his head back and looked at the ceiling. Maybe this trip would be quick he thought to himself.

"Well uh that wasn't good news" Dean said awkwardly attempting to break the silence that had descended upon them since leaving the doctor's office. Cas took a deep breath and looked up at the roof of the impala. He could feel pressure building behind his eyes. He could not carry the conversation, though he could feel Dean looking at him expectantly. He knew that if he tried to speak he would break and he was determined not to. He was terrified and angry. He could hear the doctor's words replaying in his head.

"Aggressive tumor..."

"...months to live..."

"Nothing else we can do..."

"Sorry."

Another deep breath later and he managed to get himself in control. He looked over at Dean and smiled.

"No I believe that is the very definition of bad news but I am new to this being human thing" Cas said casually. Dean stared at him as though he was attempting to figure out how Cas was really feeling about the whole thing. Of course, Dean must have know that Cas was scared but he had already decided that he was going be courageous. Similar to all of the other times in his life his courage was directly influenced by Dean.

"Don't worry Cas, we will get a second opinion. I am sure someone can do something" Dean assured

But they couldn't. After three different doctors told them the same thing Dean had to accept the truth. Or at least Cas thought he would.

"We are going to solve this" Dean exclaimed angrily. He slammed the book he was staring at shut.

"But Dean the doctors all said the same thing" Cas explained for the third time. They were sitting in the library. They had come back from the last doctor's office over three hours ago and Dean had been locked away in the library the entire time. Cas had only walked down to make sure Dean was still alive but wound up in an argument with a very frazzled looking Dean.

"I know what they said Cas but they don't live in the same world as you and I" Dean answered pulling his fingers through his hair.

"Dean..." Cas placated softly "It's okay"

"No. You used to be an angel. I kill supernatural things. I will find something to make you better" Dean said stubbornly.

"And what if there is nothing to be found?" Cas asked. He did not want to fight with Dean but he also did not want him to waste away in the library searching for a cure that was unlikely to be found.

"That's not possible. There is something. I will find it" Dean answered with a note of finality. Cas watched as Dean stood up and pulled another book off the shelf. Sighing to himself, Cas turned around and walked out of the library. If Dean was going to stubbornly refuse the very real possibility that there was no cure then he could at least do it with a full stomach. Cas made his way to the kitchen and thought about why Dean was so determined to heal him. A feeling of guilt wormed its way into his stomach. He could not just abandon Dean. His body was failing him but Dean needed him. How could he put Dean through all of this misery when he had lost so much already? Cas began opening cabinets in the kitchen furiously.

"Are you making a hate sandwich?" Sam asked him from his position at the table. Cas had been concentrating on his self loathing so intensely he had not noticed Sam was in the kitchen.

"No." Cas answered trying to keep the frustration out of his voice but failing.

"Good. Because you know those are never as delicious as they seem" Sam joked

Cas grimaced and nodded slightly.

"Alright. Do you want to talk about it?" Sam asked when Cas did not continue the conversation. Cas did not answer but instead slathered mustard on the bread that he laid on the plate in front of him. He did not want to talk about it but felt as though he was a bit too similar to Dean if he continued his silence.

"I am just worried and ashamed" Cas answered vaguely.

"Ashamed of what?" Sam asked him seriously. Cas contemplated the question for a moment. It seemed silly now that he was talking about it that he should feel shame for something he had little control over. He could not help this feeling though. He knew he was letting Dean down, that he was disappointing him by being sick.

"This...weakness" Cas answered. He focused once more on the half made sandwich in front of him.

"Cas...that is ridiculous." Sam said bluntly

"Is it? No matter how hard I try I can never stay." Cas responded evenly. It was true. He was a human and no longer had the responsibilities of an angel but still he could not stay for Dean. He was going to die and leave Dean alone again. He felt a hard lump at the back of his throat at the thought. He could feel Sam staring at him again but he did not look up.

"We are going to find something. There is a cure out there. You're going to be fine." Sam said attempting to comfort Cas. It did not work. Cas stared at the sandwich. He tried to look up and put on a brave face so that Sam felt better but he could not make himself do it.

"Seriously. Dean isn't going to give up until he cures you" Sam continued his pep talk. Cas let out a large sigh and turned to face Sam.

"And what if he can't Sam? What if there is nothing to be found?"

"Then you'll die and we will worry about it then" Sam joked. Cas rolled his eyes but felt marginally better. He picked the plate off the counter and turned to leave the room. He paused at the door to thank Sam and then left.

Back in the library Cas did not say anything. He slid the sandwich in front of Dean quietly. He then grabbed a book off the shelf and plopped himself into a chair at the table. Dean watched Cas the entire time. He muttered a small thanks at the food that was presented for him and then dropped his eyes back to his book once Cas had sat down. They read in silence. The only noise that could be heard were the infrequent page turnings.

After an hour Cas was bored. His mind began to wander. It was a miracle that Dean could ever focus long enough to discover the weakness of whatever he happened to be hunting. Cas usually had no trouble concentrating on a book for a long period of time but these books were extremely tedious. It would probably be fairly easy to distract Dean he thought. Maybe they could have sex and then go out for frozen yogurt. Cas stood up with the pretext of picking another book off the shelf. He noticed Dean's eyes shift from the book in front of him for a second to follow Cas' movement. Excellent, Cas thought, he is bored too. He stood in front of the bookshelf and reached for a particularly high shelf. He felt his shirt come up and knew he was showing skin. He decided to take it one step further and pushed his hips out so his butt was more pronounced than usual.

"Unf" Cas made a small noise. Dean wasn't watching. Cas titled his head to the side and thought about what the most distractingly obvious thing he could do was. Suddenly he had an idea. He brought the book he had just pulled from the shelf to the table next to Dean. He leaned over Dean's shoulder pretending to check something in the book in front of him. The maneuver lined Cas' mouth up perfectly with Dean's exposed neck line. Taking advantage of this position Cas started leaving soft kisses on any skin he could find.

"Cas" Dean groaned "Come on" Cas was grateful that Dean could not see the smirk that crossed his face. He made a dramatic motion and pulled Dean's chair away from the table. Quickly he placed his legs on either side of Dean and straddled him. Dean wrapped his hands around Cas' hips to keep him from falling back.

"We don't have time for this Cas. Your cure isn't going to find itself" Dean reasoned but did not make a move to remove Cas from his lap.

"It has been an entire hour. We deserve a break" Cas reasoned while sliding his hands under Dean's shirt. Dean's skin was hot and Cas could tell he would not need much more convincing.

"But..." Dean started to protest but trailed off when Cas dragged his hands down his chest.

"But what Dean?" Cas asked before pressing his lips against Dean's. He felt the slightly chapped lips open and he moved forward with his tongue. The inside of Dean's mouth tasted faintly bitter and Cas wondered if he had been secretly drinking this entire time. He did not pause to question, instead he pushed his hips into Dean's lap.

"I see we are trying really hard to find a cure for Cas" Sam's voice sounded from the front of the library. Cas pulled away from Dean and felt a flush reach his face. They had not been interrupted by Sam since the very beginning of their relationship.

"Hey, blame Cas. He was determined to seduce and distract me" Dean responded. Cas pulled a face and slowly removed himself from Dean's lap.

"I simply thought that all of this research deserved sexual compensation and frozen dairy products." Cas explained once he was in a modest standing position. Dean looked up at him and shook his head.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I..wanted frozen yogurt" Cas explained simply.

"Right. Why don't you get the dead man walking some frozen yogurt and I will take over the research for awhile" Sam said to Dean.

"Are you sure?" Dean asked. Cas was already making his way out of the library.

"Yeah definitely." Sam responded. Dean lifted himself out of the chair he had been planted in for the last four hours and stretched. He made a small moan and reached his hands above his head. Cas watched Dean shake out his sore muscles convinced he was putting on a show on purpose. Cas was already feeling too hot for his skin and did not appreciate the provocation. He stepped past Sam and left the library. Out in the hallway he paused to wait for Dean. He brought his hand up to cup the back of his neck and began a slow massage. He was beginning to feel a small ache in his neck and suspected he would be in need of painkillers soon. He let out a small disappointed sigh. If he told Dean he was beginning to feel pain he would not be intimate with him. If he took a painkiller without telling Dean it would make him drowsy and he probably would not be able to sustain any amorous relations. The only solution was to passionately throw himself at Dean the moment they were far enough away from Sam. He dropped his hand away from his neck when he heard footsteps approaching. He did not want Dean to suspect anything was wrong.

"So frozen yogurt huh?" Dean asked once he had stepped next to Cas.

"Yes maybe." Cas responded while walking a few more paces away from the library.

"Maybe?" Dean asked. Cas walked in silence for a moment longer before he rounded on Dean suddenly. His hands found Dean's hips and he backed them into the nearest wall. Quickly Cas' mouth covered Dean's before he could protest. Cas slipped his hands under Dean's shirt again resuming their position before they had been interrupted. His mouth was working fiercely against Dean's. He heard Dean groan under him and felt a quickly hardening cock pressed against his leg. Dean's arms circled Cas' back. Before he knew what was happening Dean had changed their position so that Cas was against the wall. They were still too far away from their bedroom for it to be appropriate to lose clothing Cas thought disappointedly. He tried to move down the hall without breaking away from Dean.

"Trying to get away from me?" Dean asked when he broke their kiss for a breath. Cas took advantage of the momentary pause to move them back further into the house.

"Definitely not" Cas answered before pulling Dean into a kiss again. They slid down the hall, limbs entangled. Cas was growing frustrated by the amount of clothing still between them. He pulled Dean off the wall slightly and quickly pulled his shirt over his head and flung it away from them. It landed in a small pool close to their bedroom door. Dean pulled Cas back into him. He ran his hands down Dean's bare chest. Cas left a chaste kiss on Dean's mouth before working his lips down to exposed collarbone. He left wet kiss marks on every section of skin he could while working his way down Dean's chest. Cas was perched on his knees in front of Dean. He slipped his hands into Dean's jeans and pulled them out so he could teasingly flick his tongue under the material. Dean brought his hand up to cup the nape of Cas' neck. Gently he drew his fingers through the dark hair. The change of pace made Cas shudder slightly. He looked up to see Dean staring down at him with soft eyes. He lifted himself off his knees and grabbed Dean's hand.

They walked the rest of the way to the bedroom and shut the door. Dean broke their hand holding and sat down on the bed. Cas watched him for a moment before crossing the distance and straddling him. Cas had wanted to have mindless passionate rough sex but Dean had changed into something else entirely in one movement. Dean lifted Cas' shirt off of him in one slow movement. His fingers found Cas' back and he pulled him into him. Cas understood that Dean needed something more than passion from him right now. His head gave a large throb but he distanced himself from it by wrapping as much of himself around Dean as he could. Dean let out a small sigh. Dean's arms wrapped around Cas' back and slowly he flipped their positioning so that they were laying flat on the bed. Underneath Dean, Cas brought his legs around his hips and placed his legs next to this inside of Dean's. Dean brought his hands back to Cas' hair and softly pulled through it while they gently kissed. The kisses were deep, slow, and purposeful as though every movement mattered on a grand scale. It was not quick and dirty like Cas had hoped but it contained far more emotion than he had ever felt Dean show. He suddenly felt overwhelmingly loved and the feeling made his chest ache. He brought his hands down to Dean's jeans and undid the buttons slowly. He was trying not to sacrifice his concentration on the kiss by progressing. Noticing what Cas was trying to accomplish Dean broke their kiss and smirked. He rolled off of Cas and the bed. Cas watched as Dean pulled the zipper of his jeans down and dragged his pants down in one movement. Dean pulled his underwear off and rolled over Cas to lay on the bed next to him naked. Cas did not take his eyes off Dean through the entire strip tease and after a moment of laying next to a naked Dean, he pushed himself off the bed into a sitting position.

Slowly he crawled on the bed making his way in between Dean's legs. Once situated he lowered his mouth down to Dean's cock and began a slow covering with his tongue. Dean moaned and thrust his hips to meet the moist heat of Cas' mouth. Cas teasingly flicked his tongue across Dean's slit a few more times before taking all that he could fit of Dean's cock into his mouth. Dean moaned again. Cas worked his mouth around Dean slowly perfecting every movement. Dean laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Cas looked up at him while trying to touch his nose to Dean's pelvis. Dean made a motion and Cas pulled himself off of his cock. Dean hissed at the sudden loss of contact but pulled Cas on top of him. He grabbed the back of Cas' neck and began kissing him lightly. Soft kisses turned into slow deep ones that Cas could feel resonate throughout his whole body. Dean slipped his fingers down Cas' body and began removing the last of his clothing. Cas mimicked Dean's earlier movement and rolled off the bed to remove his pants completely. Before returning to the bed he opened a drawer in the end table next to the bed and pulled out lube. He set the bottle down next to Dean and climbed on top of him once more. He was resting between Dean's legs and could feel his hard cock pressed against his stomach. He adjusted slightly and felt Dean thrust into the contact. Cas smiled and dropped his head to Dean's chest.

Cas picked the bottle of lube of the bed and spread a liberal amount on his fingers. He leaned down and kissed Dean while his fingers slowly traced down his body leaving small spots of lube in their wake. He let his index finger circle Dean's rim. He drew his mouth away from Dean's and began kissing down his neck. He kept up his litany of kisses while his index finger pushed inside Dean. He heard Dean let out a small moan and sat up so his other hand could wrap around his cock. Cas worked slowly. He noticed if he focused intently on pleasuring Dean it was easier to keep the creeping headache out of his mind.

"Casss" Dean moaned his name. Cas placed Dean's leg around his hips. He flipped the lid off the nearby lube and slathered his cock. He had to stop himself from moaning at the contact. He lined the head of his cock up with Dean's ass and began pushing himself in. Tightness surrounded him and he was trying hard not to shudder. He felt his legs rub against Dean's cheeks and waited a moment. Dean was gripping the sheets and panting. He had his head tilted back into the pillow. It was taking every ounce of control Cas had to not pullout and slam back into Dean. He brought his hands to Dean's hips and slowly began pulling out. Halfway out he glided easily back in without resistance. He increased the pace of his thrusting. Dean wrapped his legs around him tighter. He brought his head down to rest on Dean's shoulder while his hips kept the pace. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas' back. He could feel the short nails grab at his skin. He drew his teeth over Dean's neckline softly. Cas felt his legs begin to shake and knew his orgasm wasn't far off. He reached down and palmed Dean's cock. The response from Dean was immediate. He thrust into Cas' hand and dragged him down so there was no space between them. Dean moaned continuously until Cas thought he would go crazy from keeping his orgasm at bay. Dean gave a deep thrust. Cas felt hot wetness spread over his hand and lost control of the rhythm he was keeping. Dean writhed underneath him with the pleasures of his own orgasm before Cas came hard inside him. Shaking with the intensity of his orgasm he pulled out of Dean and on top of his chest exhausted. Fingers worked through his hair and he smiled. Cas didn't even get the chance to express fulfillment before passing out on Dean's chest.

"Dean." Cas said quietly while leaning on the doorframe of the library. Dean looked up from the book that was in front of him and smiled at Cas.

"What's up?" Dean asked while rubbing his hand along his permanent scruff. Cas hesitated for a moment. He had the conversation completely planned out but he knew that Dean was not going to react well.

"It has been two weeks." Cas started. Dean's smile was immediately replaced with a scowl as he hung his head to stare at the book in front of him once more.

"I know how long it has been Cas." Dean said shortly. Cas let his head fall back and allowed a small sigh to pass his lips.

"How long do you plan to be in this musty library for?" Cas asked

"As long as it takes to find a cure" Dean responded. He did not take his eyes away from the book once. Cas bit the inside of his lip and tried to calm the sudden rage he felt. He knew Dean was trying to cure him but his stubborn refusal of the inevitable was grating. Suddenly his calm demeanor broke and he shouted "You're never going to find it Dean because there is no cure." Finally Dean looked up from the book surprised by the change in volume.

"You don't know that. There is something. Just be.." Dean started to explain but Cas cut him off quickly.

"There is nothing. I am going to die. And you're down here wasting what time we have left together because you cannot...you cannot" Cas tried to continue but found a deep pain in his chest was stopping him. He did not want to get angry or cry but he was having a difficult time containing both of these emotions. It was the first time he had recognized his inevitable fate aloud and it suddenly became very real. He brought his hand to his mouth and bit down on the edge of his fingers hoping the pain would keep the tears at bay. It worked for a moment. Dean was watching him curiously. Cas swallowed hard and stared at the floor. If he ran away now Dean would only follow him so he tried to think of any excuse to walk away so he could regain control of himself. Before he could think of anything however Dean pushed his chair away from the table and crossed the library to stand in front of Cas. Without saying anything Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and pulled him into his chest. Cas bit down on his lip hard but could not stop the warm liquid from leaving his eyes. Dean's contact made him lose all control and suddenly he was sobbing into Dean's chest while his hand grasped at the plaid shirt material. Dean held Cas close to him. He brought one hand up to stroke dark messy hair. Dean did not shush him or attempt to calm him down he simply stoked his hair and left soft kisses until the sobbing slowed. Cas took a deep breath against Dean's chest. He could hear the heartbeat close to the surface and it calmed him down. Cas took a deep breath and felt wrecked. Human emotion had a way of leaving him feeling weaker than any physical fight. After a few moments of sadness during which Cas got his breathing under control Dean said "Why don't you go lay down for a bit?" Cas sighed and nodded his head in agreement. He did feel very tried.

"Will you come with me?" Cas asked quietly wiping his eyes as he did.

"Of course" Dean answered. He stepped back from Cas and grabbed the book from the table. Cas said nothing. Researching gave Dean the illusion that he was accomplishing something, that he was fighting the illness. Cas realized he could not take that away from Dean.

Dean shifted the book into his right hand and held out his left for Cas to take. Cas reached his hand forward and took Dean's hand in his own. The contact grounded him and the tight feeling in his chest softened. They left the library and walked through the house to their shared bedroom. Cas grew increasingly tired with every step and was grateful that Dean had suggested he rest. Once in their bedroom he immediately laid down on the bed. He felt his eyelids grow heavy but did not want to fall asleep until Dean was next to him. He lifted his head up slightly to keep himself awake. Dean let out a small laugh when he realized what Cas was doing. The mattress sunk and Cas rolled towards Dean. Very quickly he wrapped himself around the warm body next to him. His head rested on Dean's shoulder.

"Read to me?" Cas requested.

"You want me to read _The Blackest of Arts _to you?" Dean asked

"Yes." Cas answered

"It isn't really bedtime material" Dean said skeptically

"That is alright" Cas answered.

"Okay then." Dean said as he flipped open the book and started to read "The heart of a virgin can be used for various spell work..." Cas did not hear what virgin hearts could be used for.

Cas woke in an empty bed a few hours later. He looked around the dark room searching for Dean but found it empty. He rolled over and stretched before propping himself up. The nap had made him feel better and more in control. After some food he could probably confront Dean once more he thought to himself. Undoubtably he would find Dean in the same place he had been for the last two weeks. Cas walked out of the bedroom and down the hall to the kitchen. If it was not too late he might find left over food sitting out for him. He paused at the swinging door when he heard Dean shout from inside.

"Sammy, you don't get it. I can't find anything. I've been reading until my eyes bleed every day and there is nothing...just nothing"

"Calm down. We are going to find something. Don't give up hope Dean. We aren't going to let Cas die." Sam placated softly. Cas heard a bottle hit the table hard. He understood why Dean was being so open with Sam.

"It's hopeless. I can't watch him die again. I can't lose him again...not after..." Dean trailed off.

"I know. We will find something." Sam said. There was a silence in the kitchen and Cas almost walked in so they did not find him listening at the door. He heard a chair push across the floor. Cas rearranged his facial features into what he hoped was innocence. He pushed the kitchen door forward and mocked surprise to see Sam and Dean standing in the kitchen. Cas noticed a glass of liquor sitting on the table and an empty glass next to it.

"Cas, what are you doing up?" Dean asked him.

He shrugged his shoulders "I was thirsty" Cas walked over to the fridge and pulled out the pitcher they kept there. Dean came up behind him and grabbed the pitcher out of his hands.

"I'll bring it to you. Go back to bed" Dean instructed.

"I am perfectly capable of pouring myself a glass of water Dean. I am sick not infantile." Cas said bitterly. He knew Dean was feeling hopeless and the result was him overcompensating.

"I know. I didn't mean that. Just let me help you" Dean explained. The liquor gave his tone a harsh note. Cas turned around to face Dean.

"I'm just going to go..." Sam said from the corner of the kitchen before disappearing quickly. Cas did not want to fight. He let go of the pitcher and stepped away from Dean. He sighed softly and sat down at the table in front of the almost empty bottle of jack.

"How much of this did you drink?" he asked

"Enough." Dean answered gruffly while pulling a glass from the cabinet next to the fridge.

"Is there something you want to discuss?" Cas asked. He watched Dean pour him a large glass of water.

"Nope" Dean shook his head. He walked over to the table and gave Cas a small smile.

It happened one day when Dean was in the library.

"Cas...Cas" Dean almost shouted his name.

"What?" Cas answered looking up from his book. Dean was staring at the book in front of him in surprise.

"I might be having one of those eureka moments" Dean said his eyes never leaving the book.

"What?" Cas asked while he picked himself out of the chair and walked over to read over Dean's shoulder.

"Read it" Dean said as he shoved the book into Cas' hands. He looked down at the book.

_And should they prove worthy new life will be granted... _

"What does this mean?" Cas asked.

"Did you read it? It's like a test and if you are judged worthy they can cure you" Dean answered talking quickly.

"But Dean who is they?" Cas asked putting the book down with hesitation.

Dean dragged his hands through his hair as he answered "I don't know. Does it matter?"

Cas looked at Dean but did not respond.

"Cas this is a good thing. This is what we've been searching for. This can fix you" Dean said grabbing Cas' shoulders and turning his body so they were facing each other. Cas looked up at Dean.

"I do not want you to get false hope. There is not a lot of information here. This looks like a summoning ritual" Cas said looking doubtfully down at the opened book.

"I will call Sam in here to do some research magic to make sure everything checks out." Dean placated.

He still had an over joyed look on his face that made Cas feel uneasy.

"Promise me we will not go into this blind" Cas asked seriously.

"Hey I may be good looking but I'm not stupid" Dean answered with a small wink. Cas opened his mouth to protest further but stopped short when he heard Dean hum while he pulled another book off a shelf. He could not bring himself to crush this momentary happiness. After what he overheard Dean discussing with Sam he could not be the one to tear any hope Dean had away from him. Dean leaned over and gave Cas a small kiss on the cheek before dashing out of the room calling for Sam.

Taking advantage of the temporary solitude he leaned over the book on the table and read through the passage again. The spell to conjure this unknown judge was complicated. It required ingredients that would have been difficult to get even as an angel. A feeling of loss swept over Cas. He wished he could call for his family and that they could heal him so he did not have to worry about Dean's safety. If he had not caused so much damage he might have been able to still. He was certain they would not come if he tried now. He had seen Dean pray a few days ago with no response. The angels were not going to help him. He had become human by choice and he had to suffer the consequences. How could he have possibly guessed that sickness and death were those consequences. Had he guessed he probably would have remained an angel. As much as he loved being with Dean and being human helped him accomplish that, every moment since they found out about his illness had been difficult and guilt inducing. If he could take back his decision he probably would. He would not have been involved with Dean but he would not have to leave him.

"I know how it sounds but I think we actually have something here" Cas heard Dean before he saw him. Sam walked through the doorway first.

"Let's see it then" Sam said looking at the table. He walked around Cas and sat in the chair in front of the book. Cas looked over at Dean who had followed Sam into the library with a smile on his face. Sam read the passage quickly and then looked up at Dean.

"This is a summoning ritual" Sam explained.

"Yeah. Cas said that but I think it could still work. Cas just needs to be judged worthy" Dean responded

"I don't know Dean. This ingredients are going to be problematic." Sam said. Cas noticed Sam was hesitating. He thought he might know why.

"So?" Dean asked.

"I am just saying it is going to be difficult and..." Sam trailed off.

"And what if they do not judge me worthy?" Cas finished. Sam shrugged his shoulders sheepishly.

Dean puffed out his chest and answered "Then I will kick their asses until they do judge you worthy" Cas tried not to roll his eyes.

"Charming bravado aside is it worth tracking down all of those ingredients to be turned away?" Cas asked. Dean looked at Cas very seriously before saying "Yes. Your life is worth it. We have to try. You are plenty worthy." Cas bit the inside of his cheek. Dean's complete faith in him was overwhelming yet satisfying. Of course Dean did not have a litany of committed atrocities running through his head.

"Cas can you remember anything about this ritual or who this judge is?" Sam asked him. Cas grabbed the book and read over the passage again. The spell did not look familiar and despite how hard he tried he could not remember any supernatural being who catered in this type of healing. He focused intently on the page in front of him for another moment before releasing an exasperated sigh. It was beyond frustrating that he could not access the wealth of knowledge he once held. The combination of tumor and human weakness gave him a limited memory bank and perspective.

"Hey, it's alright. It just means a little bit more leg work" Dean reassured noticing how frustrated Cas had become.

"Right. Well Dean why don't you call around and see if any of the hunting community has heard anything about this and I'll look online" Sam dictated quickly. Dean nodded his head in response to Sam's instructions before turning to Cas.

"Why don't you read through the rest of the book and see if it is mentioned again?" Dean suggested.

"Okay" Cas answered before plopping in the chair next to him. Cas picked up the book and reread the paragraph. He heard Dean leave the room and let out a small sigh.

"Something wrong?" Sam asked him. Cas felt his heart beat against his chest. He had forgotten Sam was still in the room with him.

"No." He answered plainly. If he was lucky he could master the Winchester art of repressing emotions right before he died. He felt Sam staring at him but pretended he did not notice. He turned the page and began scanning the new section for any reference to the ritual. He heard the keys of a keyboard clicking and knew Sam had dropped his gaze. Cas let his focus fall away from the book.

Thirty minutes later Dean walked into the library. Cas looked up when he heard him coming and offered him a small smile. Dean was scowling and did not return the smile but came and sat next to Cas.

"So no one has heard anything about this ritual." Dean said aloud. Sam looked up and pulled a face.

"I can't find much of anything here either" Sam said.

"Anything in the book Cas?" Dean glanced over at Cas as he asked. He flipped the pages listlessly before replying "Not that I have seen" No one spoke for a moment. Cas watched Dean bring his hand up to his lower jaw and drag his fingers across his scruff. He hadn't shaved in three days and the shadow was very pleasing Cas thought.

"So we are going into this blind then?" Dean asked. Cas rolled his eyes and tried to avoid protesting. After a moment he could not keep silent.

"Dean we cannot do that. It could be incredibly dangerous and end up causing more problems"

"And what would you suggest we do? Nothing?" Dean asked him with a hint of sarcasm. At least Cas suspected it was sarcasm.

"You promised we would not go into this blind and we cannot find any information on it." Cas reasoned.

"I'm not going to sit around and watch you die when I could have done something" Dean said as he stood up.

"But Dean..." Cas started to protest.

"No. We are doing this." Dean interrupted harshly.

"I'll go get started on the ingredients" Sam said quickly. Cas heard Sam leave the room.

"Dean this is foolish. We have no idea what this ritual will summon. It might end up killing all three of us." Cas started immediately.

"We will make Sam stay in the other room and then that is a risk I am willing to take." Dean calmly replied.

"I will not let you kill yourself to save me" Cas said angrily. Dean was keeping a reasoned tone and it was infuriating Cas even more. Usually he was able to keep his temper and had to weather through Dean's rages but ever since he got sick things had changed.

"You don't even know what will happen. It will kill me to do nothing" Dean replied. He brought his hand out to grab at Cas. Cas took a step back and glared at Dean.

"Figuratively." Cas scowled.

"If this kills me then we can just meet up in heaven. You know your way around" Dean joked. Cas wasn't convinced.

"It is my life. I should have some say." Cas stated.

"You do have some say but you want to give up when we are this close to the finish line?" Dean responded.

"You hope." Cas replied with a note of cynicism.

"We are doing this Cas. End of discussion." Dean said with finality. Cas turned away from Dean and rolled his eyes. This was exactly like Dean, self sacrificing until the end.

"I am going to help Sam. Keep reading." Dean instructed quietly before leaving the room. Cas felt exhausted. Arguing with Dean was tiresome before his illness. At least when he was an angel he could physically overpower Dean until he came to his senses. He flipped the book shut angrily with a scowl fixed on his face.

Two weeks and twelve separate occult shops later the ingredients were in their possession. Cas watched nervously as Dean carefully laid out the individual items on the table. He half hoped that if he could not talk Dean out of this insane plan that the items would prove difficult if not impossible to procure. They had been difficult. Dean had spent the greater part of six hours on the phone with different shops throughout the United States attempting to find them. Mugwort had been easy but a pure silver coin blessed by a shaman had been the hardest. Eventually Dean found a shop that had one down in Virginia. The shop would not ship the item though so a road trip ensued. Dean sent Sam. He was convinced that Cas would burn the ritual if left alone in the house.

"I do not need a babysitter Dean." Cas insisted hating the fact that he sounded like an insolent child with his protest.

"Yeah you do." Dean answered simply. They had already gone through this argument. Cas did not approve of the plan and Dean was going to make sure he did not sabotage it.

Cas crossed his arms and stood against the back wall. He could not stop what was about to happen but he was not going to help either. Dean was focusing intently on the ingredients. Cas was watching his back as he moved the pieces around so they were easy to access. He rolled his eyes and focused on Sam instead. He was standing near the table reciting the spell from the book repeatedly. They were very efficient when the situation called for it Cas thought. Dean clapped his hands together and looked up at Sam.

"What next?" he asked. Sam looked up from his reading and spared a glance at the table in front of him before handing the book over to Dean.

"Some of these need to be mixed together and then used to make a sigil." Sam pointed at the book as he responded. Dean grabbed the book from him and got to work. The discomfort Cas felt at the Winchesters possibly risking their lives for him was becoming unbearable. He pushed his back of the wall and made to leave the room.

"Where are you going princess?" Dean asked him without turning around. Cas tilted his head to the side. Dean had not even turned around but he knew Cas was walking out of the room. He had barely made any noise, the hunter's hearing could not be that good.

"I thought I would go for a nap since you seem to have this covered." Cas answered.

"You could at least pretend you're grateful that we are trying to save your life." Dean said with his back still to Cas.

"At the possible risk of your own. I cannot be grateful for that." Cas responded and left the room before Dean could protest.

He was certain that Dean would call him back when the ritual was prepared. He made his way through the house and wound up in the kitchen. He had not planned it consciously but naturally he had a desire to clean and drink coffee. The coffee machine was on the counter nearest the sink but Cas did not bother with it. He reached into the cupboard above the sink and stood on his toes. He wrapped his hand around a worn french press that he used in special circumstances. He set it down on the counter and began rummaging through the other cupboards in search of the kettle. He found it hidden in the back of the cabinet that held their baking dishes. He filled it with water and set it on the stove. Backing away from the stove, Cas noticed that the counters could use a cleaning. He pulled a brandless cleaner from under the sink and sprayed the counters with the liquid inside. Slowly he scrubbed the counters working away his anger the best way he could. If he was honest with himself he was not actually angry but worried. In true Winchester style his real emotions often masked themselves as anger. He began vigorously scrubbing the counters. Dean's determined face flashed through his mind numerous times making him scrub even harder. He looked down at his hands to see they had turned red. The kettle was beginning to whistle. He set the sponge down and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. Quickly he turned the stove off and the whistling winded down. He looked down at the kettle with his head turned sideways. He was trying to remember where they kept the coffee at. He knew it was in one of these cupboards but he could not remember its exact location. He made coffee everyday. He should know where the coffee is he scolded himself inwardly.

He opened the cabinet closest to the fridge and peered inside. Dishes glared angrily out at him. He closed the cabinet frustrated. His eyes trailed over each cabinet individually hoping that one of them would spark something in his memory. When he could not remember what was in any of the cabinets, not even the one he had just opened, he walked forward and threw them all open. He took a step back and tried to memorize every detail. The coffee he noted was in the same cabinet he had taken the french press from which made sense now that he could see it in front of him. When he was convinced he could remember what was in every cabinet he moved forward and slowly closed them. He left the cabinet with the coffee in it for last. He pulled the bag out and closed the door softly. He felt an anxiety build up in his chest and stared down at the bag in his hand for a long moment. Over the past few weeks he had been experiencing difficulties in remembering long complicated supernatural elements but he assumed that was more of his transcendence into mortality than his brain tumor. Until now he had not experienced an extreme case of memory loss. Considering all of the possibilities and implications made him anxious. He could forget who he was or worse who Dean was. A small prick of pain started at his left temple. He brought a hand to rub at the spot absentmindedly. The pain brought him out of his thoughts and he remembered he was making coffee.

"Cas?" He heard Dean say his name.

"I am in the kitchen" he responded. He heard heavy booted footsteps and watched the kitchen door swing open to reveal Dean seconds later.

"We are just about ready so..." Dean trailed off. He was staring at Cas with his eyebrows knitted together.

"What's wrong?" he asked hesitantly. Cas looked at him and then at the floor.

"I could not...I couldn't remember where the coffee was." Cas explained. Dean let out a large sigh.

"Hey that's okay. Sometimes I wake up and don't remember who the attractive stranger is next to me." Dean replied with a small smile. Cas was too worried to laugh. He wanted to tell Dean he was afraid of losing him but he did not want to trouble him with the burden. Instead he asked "What if this does not work?"

Dean contemplated the thought for a moment. "Then we will find something else" he replied seriously.

"But.." Cas started before Dean interrupted finishing his unspoken thought aloud.

"But what if you forget me?" Cas could not reply. He looked solemnly at Dean and gave a slow indicative head nod. Dean looked up at the ceiling letting air out of his nose. He gave a small shrug and looked back at Cas. "Then I'll help you remember"

"I'm not leaving." Sam crossed his arms and stared Dean down. Cas watched as he firmly planted himself in case his brother tried to forcefully remove him from the library. Dean raised his eyebrows and glared.

"You have to. We have no idea what might happen." Dean reasoned.

"Which is exactly why I should be in here. You might need backup and Cas is..." Sam trailed off.

"Useless" Cas finished. Sam looked over at Cas apologetically.

"No. You're just sick" Sam explained quickly "You have to agree that Dean needs backup"

"He doesn't have to agree to anything. I am making the call here Sam." Dean said his voice getting higher the more defiant Sam became.

"I care about Cas too. I'm staying. We're wasting time even arguing about this." Sam argued.

"I can't risk you." Dean explained with a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

"It's not your choice to make and you need my help so suck it up." Sam answered before striding over to stand in front of the sigil on the table. Dean did not move but clenched his hand into a fist. Cas did not say anything. He would rather they not do the ritual at all but he knew his protest would fall on deaf ears. He watched Sam waiting for Dean to move past his concern. Though he would probably never admit it he felt a sense of camaraderie towards Sam. His refusal to step away was not just because he wanted to protect his brother but because he also cared for Cas.

"Fine. But if you die and go to hell again, I am leaving you there" Dean joked.

"Fair. Cas come over here we need blood." Sam said while picking up the book. Cas walked the few paces to the table and stood in front of Sam. He heard Dean quietly walk up behind him. He grabbed a small blade off the table.

"How much" he asked Sam.

Sam did not respond right away but looked over at Dean.

"Enough to fill that bowl." Sam pointed to a small bowl. Cas picked up the bowl and looked inside. A smattering of ingredients were crushed in the bottom.

"It says the bowl needs to be placed in the middle of the sigil while you bleed into it and I read some latin" Sam explained. Cas felt Dean visibly shift rather than see him.

"I can read it." Dean said.

"My latin is better" Sam reasoned.

"Sam. I can read it." Dean said seriously. Cas looked over at him and realized there would be no arguing with him even from Sam.

"Fine." Sam said realizing the same thing before handing the book over. Dean looked the page over and nodded.

"Ready?" He asked Cas. Cas nodded and moved the bowl into the middle of the sigil. He placed the knife against the palm of his left hand. Quickly he cut into himself. He sucked in a breath and let his now bleeding hand hang over the bowl. Dean began reciting the ritual. Somewhere in the back of Cas' mind he remembered the meaning of some of the words. _Sacrifice, blood, measure, _and _exhibit _ were being used repetitively. Dean stopped reading. The room was still. The bowl was slowly filling with his blood.

"Should I keep going?" Dean asked Sam. Sam shrugged his shoulders before answering "Couldn't hurt". Dean began repeating the ritual again.

"You really don't have to do that. I am right here" sounded a voice from the back of the library. Sam turned around. Cas pulled his hand away from the bowl and looked in the direction the voice came from. He saw Dean place a hand on the inside of his jacket. A small man in a casual suit walked around the stack that was hiding him from view. Cas thought he sort of looked like a butler in one of those spy films Dean made him watch.

"How can I help you?" He took turns looking at the three of them individual waiting for a reply.

"How about you tell us who you are first." Dean threatened.

"You called me who are you?" the man replied.

"I am Sam Winchester, that is my brother Dean and that is Cas. We summoned you?" Sam responded taking over the conversation. The man considered Sam for a moment.

"Well I would not be here if you hadn't. One of you needs to be saved I take it?" He asked.

"Yeah. Cas does" Sam responded again. Cas took a small step forward and glared at the man in front of them.

"Are you aware of what that entails? What cost must be paid?" The man directed this question at Cas. Cas thought for a moment. The ritual had said he must be judged worthy.

"A test of some sort?" Cas asked him.

"In a way." the man answered vaguely.

"Okay, what does that mean? And who are you exactly, Jeeves?" Dean practically shouted at the man.

"Jeeves is fitting. I am a representative, a conduit, a chauffeur of sorts" He answered while walking closer to Cas. Without warning he stepped inside Cas' personal space and laid a hand on his chest. An intense pain spread through his entire body. He dropped to his knees and cried out. A moment later the pain receded as though nothing happened. He looked up from his position on the floor to see Dean had pinned the man against a wall and was threatening to kill him.

"Dean." Cas called for his attention calmly. Dean looked around and saw that Cas was standing again but did not let go of his grip. The man did not look at all worried. Dean looked back at Cas once more and loosened his grip. He took two steps back and stood between Cas and the man.

"You have quite an aggressive brain tumor" the man said while straightening his jacket. He did not move towards Cas again. Cas did not reply.

"Can you heal him?" Sam asked.

"Perhaps." The man answered vaguely once more.

"Do it then." Dean demanded.

"Oh, it is not up to me." the man responded while turning so his back was facing them.

"Then who is up to?" Dean asked.

"You." He answered simply. The man quickly walked over to the nearest wall and placed his hand there. Cas watched him with apprehension. A supernatural being who was purposefully vague was never a good thing. He grabbed at Dean's arm and was about to tell him they should not go any further with this when the wall caved in to create a black void. The man turned to face them and stood with his arm outstretched inviting them to walk into the void. Dean took a step forward.

"Dean. No." Cas grabbed his arm to stop him.

"It's okay. We have to." Dean said to Cas as he looked at the hand clamped down on his arm. He took Cas' hand off of his arm but replaced it with his own hand. They walked toward the black seemingly endless abyss. Sam stepped up next to Dean. He had a determined look on his face and Cas knew that he was coming with them no matter what protests Dean threw his way. Dean looked at his brother too but he did not protest. The three of them walked through the hole where the wall used to be. Cas looked around but all he could see was darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

Darkness pressed in from all sides. Cas squinted but there was nothing to see. They had stepped into a void. An unease crawled over his skin. The darkness became suffocating. Cas was sure they were bound to be lost in the nothingness. Then, light broke. Cas had to shut his eyes against the sudden brightness. Remembering that he was probably in danger his eyes flew open. He was in a giant room. The wall directly in front of him was a clear panel. He concentrated on what was outside the room and saw that they were looking into a smaller cavernous room. His eyes scanned the rest of the walls and noticed that they were all blank. A small couch was set up in the middle of the room facing the panel. Cas turned around to gage the Winchester's reactions to see Sam staring pointedly through the panel. Dean, however, was missing. Cas felt his heart drop into his stomach.

"Where's Dean?" he asked Sam not even bothering to keep the panic from his voice. Sam turned his head to where his brother ought to be. Seeing that he was missing he withdrew his weapon from the waistband of his jeans. Cas searched the room again. There was no one else. He and Sam were alone in this strange viewing room.

Sam walked around the edge of the room. One hand stretched against the wall obviously searching for a way out. Cas watched him for a moment before walking over to the giant panel. It was the focal point of the room. Whatever they were supposed to be watching was happening through the window. He stared into the darker room but could not see anything. He put a hand up to the glass. It was warm. The contact with the glass made a light flicker inside the darker room. Cas scanned the room eagerly. There was a man lying in the middle of the floor. It took a moment for Cas to comprehend what he was seeing.

"Dean!" He shouted and slammed a hand on the glass. Sam was at his side in an instant.

"Where?" He asked. Cas pointed to the crumpled figure in the middle of the room. Sam put a hand up to the glass.

"Stand back" he ordered. Cas took a step back. Sam walked over to the couch in the middle of the room. He was searching for a wood piece strong enough to break off.

"Can you help me?" He asked Cas after not finding anything. Cas nodded his head and went to grab an end of the couch. They locked eyes and heaved the couch up. They made three quick steps towards the window.

"Ready?" Sam asked him. Again Cas nodded. They drew their weight back and threw the couch as hard as they could manage at the panel. The couch sank through the window and disappeared. The window was still intact. Cas moved in front of the window. He placed his hand on the glass again. It was solid.

Cas pulled his fingers into his palm and began pounding on the glass.

"Dean!" he shouted. Dean did not move. Sam walked over and stood next to him staring at his brother laid out on the ground.

"He can't hear you." Cas turned around at the sound of the voice. Sam crossed the room in two giant moose steps. He lifted Jeeves off the ground and glared at him threateningly.

"What do you mean? Why is he down there? What is going on?" Cas asked his questions tripping over them. He was keeping one eye on Sam and another on the still form of Dean.

"Answer him!" Sam shouted while shaking the man.

"I did tell you there would be a price to pay." he answered. Cas turned his back to Dean to face the man head on.

"But you didn't say it would be..." he trailed off. Sam dropped Jeeves on the floor and removed his weapon once more.

"Why bring us here if you were just going to kill Dean?" Sam asked menacingly.

"Kill him? We didn't kill him. He is alive down there." Jeeves explained calmly. Cas watched him intensely. He did not seem even the slightest bit phased by the gun being currently pointed at him. Cas was not sure if he believed that Dean was alive. He had still not moved.

"But why separate him?" Sam continued his questioning. Jeeves rolled his eyes and began walking the length of the room.

"I've told you already. There is a price." he answered.

Cas turned to face the window again. He would not believe Dean was alive until he saw him move. Cas drew his bottom lip into his mouth and stared nervously down at the crumpled figure that was Dean. The inside of his head was screaming at him to move, to show any sign of life but he did not.

"But why Dean? Cas is the one that needs to be healed." Sam asked. Cas could not see Sam's face but he heard hesitation in the question as though Sam had not wanted to drag Cas into this mess.

"You humans never read the fine print. He did the summoning. He has to prove his worth." Jeeves answered.

"He has to prove his worth to heal Cas?" Sam asked.

"Yes." the man answered. Cas turned around at this answer.

"And how does he do that?" Cas asked.

"By successfully completing our tests." the man answered. Cas folded his arms across his chest. More than ever he was wishing he had stopped Dean when he had the chance.

"Isn't that subjective?" Sam asked. Cas could see Dean roll his eyes at Sam's question in his head.

"Yes. I suppose it is." the man answered.

"And what if he fails?" Cas asked timidly. He was afraid of the answer. Afraid that if Dean failed it would cost him his life, that it might cost them all their lives.

"Then you will not be healed" he answered. Cas could not believe what he had just heard. If Dean failed they would simply be in the same position they were in before. Dean would not have to die.

"Dean won't die?" Sam asked clearly thinking the same thing Cas was.

"I didn't say that." he answered. Cas felt the momentary relief slip away from him.

"Sam, shoot him." Cas said quietly. Sam looked over at him. His eyebrows raised in confusion for a moment before he turned to face the man again. He tightened his grip on his weapon.

"That won't do anything." Jeeves said while staring directly at Sam.

"Maybe not but it might hurt enough that you stop giving us vague answers." Sam responded.

"If Dean dies during a challenge then he fails. Not all of the challenges are life threatening. I have no way of knowing what the outcome will be but ignoring the possibility of his death would be dishonest." Jeeves explained. Cas squinted in confusion.

"Anyway. He should be waking up soon. You might want to take a seat." Jeeves continued when neither Sam nor Cas asked another question. Cas turned to see that the couch was back in the middle of the room. He was not surprised. He was all too well versed in making objects appear. He did not sit down though. Instead he stood as close to the glass as he could manage. Sam silently joined him. Their watchful vigil continued for five minutes before Dean started to wake up. Cas watched as Dean struggled to his feet and dragged his fingers through his hair massaging a sore spot on the back of his head. Quickly the hunter realized he was in danger and backed himself against a wall. His head turned in every direction searching for any way out of the room. Cas pressed a hand against the glass. He had to resist the temptation to call out to Dean, to let him know that he was in no immediate danger, yet. He knew calling down would be pointless. Dean turned around to face Sam and Cas. It was obvious by his lack of recognition that he could not see them.

"Hello Dean." Jeeves said. Dean turned in a circle searching for the location of the bodiless voice.

"Where are you?" Dean shouted in response. Cas heard his response as though Dean was standing right next to him. His eyes quickly scanned the room once again. He knew without an attempt that Dean would not be able to hear him if he spoke aloud. He kept quiet and focused on Dean.

"Around." Jeeves answered. Dean turned in a complete circle once again.

"Where are Sam and Cas?" Dean asked with a barely controlled rage.

"They are fine." Jeeves answered sparing a glance at Cas.

"He won't believe you if he can't see us." Sam said. His eyes had not moved from his brother since he woke up.

"Prove it." Dean yelled into the dark room. Jeeves looked at Sam and Cas standing as close to the glass as possible. He rolled his eyes.

"This codependency is rather unhealthy." He said before waving his hand in a complicated motion. Light flooded into the dark room. Dean turned to face the onslaught of light with a hand pressed above his eyes. Cas watched as Dean focused on the new area of the room he could not see before. His eyes flickered from Cas to Sam before he charged full force at the room. As though the glass in front of them was made from rubber he bounded off and fell to the floor.

"Dean!" Cas exclaimed pushing his weight against the glass. He felt a hand land on his shoulder and saw Sam shaking his head. He let Sam pull him away from the glass but his eyes never left Dean.

"There, now is everyone satisfied that you are all alive and well? Can we begin?" Jeeves asked. Dean lifted himself off the ground.

"Begin what?" Dean sneered. He was glaring at Jeeves.

"Your tests, of course." Jeeves answered gaily. Dean met Cas' stare. Cas watched as he processed the new information. Unlike Sam, Dean did not question why he was being tested instead of Cas. He rolled his shoulders and plastered a cocky smile across his face.

"Let's do it." Dean said with a bravado only Cas could recognize as fake.

Triggered by Dean's assent the room around him lit up. It was a plain white room similar to the one he and Sam were standing in. Dean looked around. There was nothing to be seen in the room.

"The tasks are inherently simple. They are designed to test your strength, wisdom, and courage." Jeeves began explained. Dean smirked.

"And then what? I unlock the holy triforce?" he asked sarcastically. Cas heard Sam whisper under his breath "And he calls me the nerd."

"Should you succeed in proving your worthiness in the three categories we will heal Castiel." Jeeves responded ignoring the quip. Dean frowned.

"Alright what are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road." Dean said as he clapped his hands together.

"Indeed. The first task is a test of your commitment. Do you really want to heal Castiel? Are you willing to give up all of the things that bind you to this world?" Jeeves explained. Dean squinted in the direction he knew the now hidden room to be.

"Ha. Really? That's the first task? I don't even own anything worth taking but sure." Dean joked.

"We shall see." Jeeves answered. Cas watched as he flicked his hand in a complicated motion again. The room Dean was in began to shift. The walls faded away and an open road began to unravel in front of him. Cas had a sneaking suspicion what Dean was going to have to give up. The thought made him nervous. He knew Dean would chose his life over a material possession but he was right when he said he did not own very many things. The loss was sure to be hard.

As Cas suspected a car began flickering into existence on the road in front of Dean. It was the impala. Dean hands immediately clenched into fists. Dean did not say anything as the room continued to change. Cas could see the tension pooling on Dean's shoulders. He did not turn around but reached a hand out to touch the hood of his beloved vehicle.

"Dean is rather an unusual case." Jeeves had walked up to stand next to Cas. Dean had his back to them still. Cas took his eyes off Dean for the first time since he began moving around to look over at the man standing next to him. He had a small tight grin on his lips. His eyes were hungrily fixed on Dean as though he were a particularly delicious steak. Cas did not like it.

"Why?" He asked simply. Jeeves' smile grew larger. Cas could see the bottoms of his teeth begin to stick out under his thin lips.

"He doesn't have much material wealth now does he?" Jeeves posed his answer in the form of a question. Cas did not respond. He turned his gaze back to Dean who was circling the car. He visibly stiffened next to the passenger seat. He turned to face the window and Cas saw a pleading look in his eyes. When no response came Dean reached into the car through the open window and pulled a bulky brown leather jacket from inside.

"I wonder if that will make this easier or harder for him?" Jeeves questioned again.

Cas felt a sharp pain in the middle of his palm. He stretched his hand out in front of him and noticed small half moon imprints. He was having a difficult time quelling the rage he felt. This man was deriving amusement from Dean's pain.

"Killing me won't solve anything." Jeeves said. Cas looked over at him once more but to his surprise he was staring at Sam. Cas looked over to see Sam slowly drag his hand from the inside of his coat.

"Now then let's move this along" Jeeves said while waving his hand in the same complicated motion he had used before. Cas watched as a gasoline can flickered into physicality next to the Impala. Dean did not notice the new object. His eyes were fixed on a silver squared lighter in his hand. He flicked the top of the zippo open and ran his thumb across the flint wheel. Fire sprang from the eyelet. Cas watched as Dean began searching the ground for kindling. His eyes fell upon the gasoline can. He snapped the zippo closed and walked around the Impala towards the can. He hesitated for a moment in front of the can. Cas could hear his heart beating heavily against his chest. Dean threw the old jacket he still held in his left hand on the floor. He bent down and grabbed the can by the handle. Quickly he unfastened the lid and began pouring the clear liquid on top of the leather. After he had throughly soaked the jacket he made his way to the impala. Through the open windows he mercilessly splashed gasoline coating the interior of the car. He emptied the can on the hood. Gingerly he picked the coat off the ground. He held it away from him to avoid the combustible substance.

Cas watched Dean place the jacket inside the gasoline soaked impala. He brought his fingers nervously up to his mouth and began to play with his bottom lip. Dean took three steps away from the car window. Cas saw a flash of silver and a spark. Dean extended his right arm forward in a casual toss. Fire sprang from the drives seat. Cas began chewing on the outsides of his thumb nail. His eyes flickered from Dean to the car repeatedly. Cas registered soft chuckling coming from his left but could not focus his attention on the room he was physically in. He was with Dean. Suffering next to him while the Impala burned from the inside out.

"That was fun." Cas heard Jeeves claim as though from behind a thick cloth. Dean turned around and walked away from the burning vehicle as though he could not stand to watch something he treasured burn. Cas felt an overwhelming guilt grip him. He could not reconcile with the idea that everything Dean loved burned. Cas focused on Dean's expression but he saw nothing but a cold stoicism. After a few moments of silence, Dean said "What's next?"

Jeeves chuckled and clapped his hands together. Cas looked over at Jeeves to see a smile that was too wide for his face plastered across his lips.

"I think you guys are really going to like this next one." He said before waving his hand in the same motion. The room around Dean began to dissolve. He was once again standing in a dark cavernous room awaiting judgement.

Four torches sprang to life in the corners of the room. Dean moved to the center of the now square room.

"If you could please remove your shirt and shoes." Jeeves directed. Dean turned in a tight circle searching for the voice. After a moment he shrugged and bent down to unlace his boots. Once barefooted he removed the plain dark blue button up shirt he was wearing off.

"All of your shirts, please." Jeeves said with snark. Cas had to once again resist the urge to throttle the being standing too close to him. He had joked about the amount of layers Dean wore numerous times but hearing the criticism from someone else made him overly defensive. However, Dean did as requested without a snide comment. He reached his hand behind his back and pulled the shirt over his head in one quick movement. Balling up the shirt and tossing it into the pile of clothes he formed seemed far to complacent for Cas' liking. The lack of sarcasm and jokes about his naked body were making Cas nervous. Destroying the Impala had been difficult undoubtably but Dean did not have time to recover from that loss before being presented with another arduous task.

"This next challenge is rather straightforward. It is designed to test your strength. Please begin." Jeeves directed. Cas watched as Dean's back stiffened into a defensive position. Suddenly he snapped his head to the left and stared into the dark corner. Cas could not see anything but Dean must have heard something. Dean brought his fists up in front of his face. Cas squinted and tried to see anything in the darkness of the room. The torches were only lighting the middle section of the room and he could not see anything other than Dean.

Finally Cas saw a giant mass emerging slowly from the left corner. Dean took two small steps back. The figure moved across one of the torches. Cas stared at the newly lit figure and felt a weight drop into his stomach. A large well muscled man with dark black eyes was stepping closer to Dean every second. Dean took a defensive stance watching every move the demon made. The demon stopped a foot from Dean as though waiting. They stood motionless, staring at each other, waiting. Cas silently resumed chewing on the tips of his fingers. Dean could certainly handle himself in a fight but he was half naked and lacked any defensive weapons. If this demon was allowed to use his powers this fight would be over very quickly. Cas turned to look at Jeeves with the intention of asking him what the rules were of this match to see a wide set grin on his face.

"To the death!" he exclaimed while raising his hands above his head a dramatic touch meant for Sam and Cas' benefit since Dean could not see him. Suddenly Cas' attention was split. The demon had stepped forward and swung a giant fist towards Dean which he quickly moved left to dodge at the same moment that Sam stepped forward and demanded "What do you mean to the death?"

"You two are quite irksome." Jeeves sighed before continuing "What part of that was hard for you?"

Sam snarled quietly under his breath again restraining the violent urge he must be feeling towards the snarky conduit.

"Dean must defeat the opponent using only his god given talents." Jeeves explained when neither Sam nor Cas spoke. Cas was too distracted by the current battle inside the other room to care much what the increasingly annoying being next to him was rattling on about. Why did they always have to encounter the sassy supernatural beings, Cas wondered while he watched Dean dodge another attack. As far as Cas could tell Dean was relying on his superior speed to wear the demon down. At the very least he had not been struck yet. A small spot of hope creeped its way through Cas' mind. Dean could handle himself in a fight and maybe, just maybe, he could get through these tasks unmarred.

A life devoid of sickness and death flashed through Cas' mind briefly. Cas watched as the demon reeled back his fist and quickly made contact with Dean's chest. The blow knocked Dean back. Cas could see his chest rising and falling in quick succession as though he were struggling to get oxygen. Dean could not pause. The demon was charging at him once more. He barely moved away from the giant in time. The blow that struck him seemed to have slowed his reflexes. The demon and Dean began circling each other once more. Each sizing the other attempting to find a weakness they could exploit. The demon lunged forward. Dean quickly leaped sideways, moving his body out of reach while extending his fist forward. He made contact with exposed ribcage. The demon staggered backwards. He stared at Dean with murderous intent. Cas was not sure if Dean had actually caused the Demon damage or had merely pissed him off. Once again the demon charged. This time, however, Dean was too slow. The demon caught him around the middle and dragged him to the ground. The grappled harshly for a few moments. Dean was well practiced in removing himself from holds. The demon could not pin him for longer than a few seconds.

The tension in Cas' chest mounted until he was sure it would explode from him. Every moment that Dean fought this demon felt as though he was struggling for his life. Cas watched as Dean finally gained the upper hand and the demon fell flat on his chest. Not wasting an opportunity Dean walked forward and placed his hands around the sides of the demon's neck. In a quick slight of hand Dean had snapped the demon's neck. Cas let out a sigh of relief before remembering that would not be enough to kill a demon. His did not let the lifeless body leave his sight. It was bound to start moving once getting over the initial injury. To his immense surprise Jeeves began instructing Dean.

"Very good, Winchester. You fought admirably. Now finish it." He waved his hand again. Cas saw a small familiar knife materialize next to Dean. Without hesitation Dean picked the knife up, crossed the room and plunged it into the belly of the demon's neck he had just snapped.

A/N I am very sorry this took so long to update. Gishwhes and school man. I know it's kinda short too. I am just terrible.


	4. Chapter 4

"Exciting." Jeeves said clapping his hands together and walking away from the window.

"I've heard stories of you Winchesters. I am not disappointed." he continued talking to the room. At least Cas assumed he was talking to the room since he was not bothering to pay attention to him. He had come to the very quick conclusion that not only were these tasks a game to _Jeeves _but every time they acknowledged what he was saying he was gaining a satisfaction from their reactions. Well practiced in stoic matters Cas kept his eyes on Dean and did not respond to the obvious ploys. Out of his peripheral Cas saw Sam turn. He was facing Cas but he could clearly see Jeeves.

"I think" Jeeves paused dramatically before continuing "it may be time for an intermission."

The room in front of Cas began to disappear. He watched as Dean turned in circles as things dematerialized in front of him. After the room was gone all that surrounded Dean was darkness and then Dean disappeared. Cas let out a small gasp and peered harder into the darkness. An unease crept over him. He turned around.

"Where did you..." was all he managed to demand before noticing that Dean was now in the room with them. Sam quickly crossed the room and pulled his brother into a large hug. Cas waited and watched Jeeves very closely. He wasn't sure but this felt like a trap. Sam let go of Dean.

"Good job." he said and clapped his shoulder. Dean smirked before responding "Easy as pie." Cas noticed a small trickle of blood around Dean's mouth. This did not stop him from crossing the room and planting a large kiss on him. Cas heard Sam sigh next to them but found he did not care. Dean pulled away before he did and moved his eyes quickly to Sam and back again. Cas rolled his eyes and backed away. Despite the life and death nature of these tasks Dean was still private about his affections. Shamelessly flirt with some girl he didn't care about in public, no problem, but be affectionate with someone he loved in front of strangers, problem. Cas felt affronted for a moment before noticing that Jeeves was eyeing them both curiously. Perhaps Dean had a point.

"A short ten minute intermission then back to the action." Jeeves said quickly when he noticed Cas staring at him. He picked himself out of the chair he was lounging in and walked out a door that was certainly not there before.

Dean broke the silence first. "So what do we know about tall, dark, and annoying over there" he jerked his thumb in the direction of the door. Curiously, but with little hope of it actually working, Cas crossed the room and opened the door. The door swung open and revealed nothing but darkness. Cas stared into it for a moment lost in thought before he closed the door and walked back over to Sam and Dean.

"Other than the fact that he is a snarky ass who can make things materialize and seems to be running things around here, nothing" Sam answered.

"Alright" Dean sounded disappointed "any idea what the next task might be? Or how many of them there are?"

Cas and Sam did not answer. Sam offered an unhelpful shrug of his shoulders and looked at the ground.

"Am I the only one doing any real work around here?" Dean asked

"There hasn't been much we can do. Other than sit here and watch you. In case you hadn't noticed there is no escape from this room." Sam answered.

"Let's just think this through" Cas intervened noticing the scowl that worked its way onto Dean's face.

"Jeeves said that the task are designed to test your strength, wisdom, and courage. Right?" Cas continued.

"Jeeves?" Dean interrupted him with a confused look.

"Hey, you named him not us." Sam replied. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, the first task wasn't really about any of those things. He said it was designed to test your commitment. The second task was clearly strength." Cas said.

"Right. So wisdom or courage comes next." Dean finished the thought.

"Want to take bets?" Sam asked. Before Dean or Cas could speculate further the lights in the room began to flicker.

"What's happening?" Dean asked.

"End of intermission?" Sam replied questioningly. The door against the back wall swung open. Jeeves walked through and shut the door behind him. Distracted by the showmanship Cas did not notice that Dean had disappeared from his side. Cas turned in a quick circle searching the room for Dean. Sam simply pointed to the window they had vacated. Cas walked over and peered into the other room. Dean was once again the center piece.

"Don't look so glum Castiel. I brought back snacks." Jeeves said while waving his hand. Popcorn materialized in Cas' hands. Cas had to resist the urge to throw the bag across the room.

"Now Dean we return once more to the tasks at hand." Jeeves chuckled to himself before continuing " This task will test your wisdom."

The second that Jeeves finished instructing the room around Dean began to shake. Dean switched the weight between his legs to keep his balance.

"If you ask me this is the task we'll get him on." Jeeves said with a satisfied grin.

"We didn't ask." Cas bit back. Cas watched as walls began to shoot from the ground. The ground seemed to be raising up everywhere but in a very particular pattern that Cas could almost trace.

"Oh." Sam said quietly. Cas shifted his gaze to the younger Winchester.

"What?" he asked.

"It's a maze." Sam answered. Cas looked back through the window into the room. Sam was right. Dean was standing at the edge of a giant brick maze. The walls towered over his head and wove intricately throughout the entire room. Cas searched for the end of the maze but as far as he could tell it went on forever.

Dean placed his hand on the wall nearest him. He was a few feet from the entrance. Whether he had guessed what was currently in front of him or not Cas did not know. Strangely Cas was not worried about this task. Jeeves may have a low opinion of Dean's intelligence but Cas knew Dean was much smarter than he let people know. Similar to the way he guarded his emotions Dean seemed very weary of trusting people with the knowledge that he was rather smart. Perhaps it was easier if people's expectations for him were lower. Cas shook his head and focused on what was happening in the other room.

Dean was peering around the edge of the entrance to the maze. Cas could see beyond the start of the maze because their room was apparently higher up though during the earlier tasks they were nearly even with Dean. The entrance to the maze was clear. Dean had nothing to worry about but Cas could not blame him for hesitating. This task was designed to test his wisdom. It would make sense to set a trap in the very beginning for the headstrong. Dean peered around the corner once more before giving a very dramatic shoulder shrug and stepping into the maze.

Dean stood just passed the entrance and waited expectantly. Cas did not notice he was holding his breath until Dean took another step forward without harm. Cas let out a small huff of breath and relaxed the tension that was growing in his shoulders. Dean was smart. He could handle this Cas reminded himself. Seeing no immediate danger Dean continued to walk through the maze. He pulled his right hand away from his chest reluctantly to run it against the wall. Cas tilted his head to the side as he watched his hunter brush his fingertips against the wall. Cas turned to Sam.

"What is he doing?" Cas asked. Sam looked over at Cas and then turned his attention to Jeeves.

"I don't know" Sam answered shrugging his shoulders. Cas squinted his eyes and looked at the younger Winchester. It was unlike Sam to not have some guess about his brother's behavior. He must know but doesn't want to say anything in front of Jeeves Cas reasoned.

"Oh you can tell him what you think Sam. I am impartial merely a spectator of an unfolding stage." Jeeves said from Cas' left.

"I don't believe you." Sam answered.

"Well I will just tell poor Castiel what you are thinking then, hmm?" Jeeves mocked. Cas turned to face Jeeves. He had a large smile on his face and was staring mischievously at Sam. He waited a moment for Sam to respond. Sam did not. Instead he continued to stare through the window at his brother.

"Sam thinks that Dean is trying a trick he's heard. That if he puts his right hand against the wall and follows it he can find his way out of the maze." Jeeves almost sang. Cas looked over at Sam.

"Is that true?" he asked. Sam gave a tight nod. Suddenly Cas was more worried about the fact that Jeeves seemed to be able to read their minds than Dean surviving in the maze.

"I wouldn't worry about that." Jeeves said making eye contact with Cas. "Dean won't survive this maze. The walls move."

Cas scowled before replying "Why are you telling us this?"

"Oh I thought it would be obvious. I want to prepare you for the inevitability of Dean's defeat and death" Jeeves replied. The urge to smite the being in front of him rose inside Cas' once more.

"I want you to know that if I can find a way to kill you, I will." Cas threatened before he could calm the rage brewing inside. Jeeves let out a small chuckle and Cas could not think because of the blinding rage.

"You can't kill me Castiel, not anymore. You will be dead long before me. But you will have time to mourn Dean." Jeeves replied. Cas took a step forward before an arm wrapped around his chest and he was dragged back.

"Don't. He's playing you." Sam whispered in his ear.

"I can hear you and that is just rude." Jeeves said in the same sing song tone he used earlier.

Dean had rounded the first corner without any obstacles. Cas noticed that Dean slowed his pace. He was continuing to walk but reluctantly. Cas assumed that the obvious lack of obstacles was worrying Dean. If he was honest it was worrying him as well. There was no way that this was just a maze. Cas could see one row beyond where Dean was currently standing. The way forward seemed to be clear. Perhaps Dean was worrying for no reason. Cas brought his eyes back to the hunter. He looked strange without a leather jacket wrapped around him. Dean took a step back and paused. He must be listening for something. Cas squinted and focused on the parts of the maze he could see. There was nothing there. Still Dean did not move forward. Instead he flattened himself against the right wall and waited. Cas barely registered the pain he was causing himself by chewing on the inside of his lip.

Suddenly ten feet in front of Dean the wall began to shimmer. A large stone creature stepped out of the wall and turned to face Dean. It took a giant resounding step. Cas could have swore he heard it though all he could actually hear was Sam's small intake of breath next to him.

"What is that?" he whispered to Cas.

"I have no idea." Cas answered.

"Did you see where it came from?" Sam asked.

"The wall" Cas answered. The stone creature had walked a few more steps towards Dean who had not moved. Cas did not understand his tactic. It was possible that Dean was hoping the stone creature wouldn't see him if he didn't move. Cas thought that was a very vain hope. Dean in his plaid shirt and light pants stood out very plainly against the dark walls of the maze. To Cas' utter amazement the giant stone creature walked right past Dean without any acknowledgment. Dean waited until the creature took another two steps before he unglued himself from the wall and put as much distance as he could between himself and the creature.

"Clever." Jeeves sounded impressed in spite of himself. Cas was not sure what had just happened but did not want to give Jeeves any satisfaction so he did not ask. He settled on being relieved for the time that Dean was doing better than Jeeves thought he would.

Dean continued through the maze making left turns followed by right turns. He kept his right hand against the wall and moved quickly and quietly. Cas watched as Dean found himself at multiple dead ends. He did not seem frustrated by this. He simply dragged his hand along the wall until he was out of the dead end and back where he came from. Another ten minutes passed with Dean searching for a way out of the maze before he was forced to another stop. Once again Cas could not see what was causing Dean to stop.

"Why is he stopping?" He asked aloud. Thankfully it was Sam who answered.

"There is a hole. Can't you see it?"

Cas focused on the floor. A large chasm was placed where brick should have been. It was short enough that Dean could jump over it with a running start easily enough. He took a few steps back and braced himself. Cas watched as he pushed off from the ground and ran at the hole. At the edge he leapt. Cas let out a gasp as a large fanged creature rose up from the hole and grabbed ahold of Dean's leg with his jagged teeth. Dean's torso hit the other side of the hole and he hung from the ledge desperately clawing at the floor of the maze trying to regain his ground. He lifted himself up but something dragged him back down. Whatever was living inside that hole must have not let go. It was intent on dragging Dean into the dark depths. Cas felt his heartbeat quicken. Forgetting for a moment that he could not break the glass in front of him he slammed his fists against it trying to find a way into the room to help Dean.

Dean flailed as much as could against the wall. Twice he managed to pull himself almost out of the hole only to be dragged back down once again. Cas could not see the lower half of Dean's body but he seemed to be kicking the creature with his other leg.

"Let's get a little closer." Jeeves said. Cas watched as their view of the maze shifted. It was as if Jeeves had moved the entire viewing room so that it was down inside the maze. They were directly across from Dean. They could see the terror etched into every line of his face. Blood was pooling at his fingertips as he clawed at the stone trying to gain ground. This was it. Dean was going to die and there was nothing Cas or Sam could do but watch. Watch as Dean was sucked into a deep dark chasm full of a monster that wanted to eat him. Cas wanted to look away but he wouldn't. Knowing full well the memory of Dean falling would haunt him he would not look away.

"Come on Dean." Sam muttered beside him. Suddenly Cas heard a faint howl of pain and Dean hauled himself over the edge. He rolled away from the hole and lay panting on the maze floor. His right hand was laid across his chest and left against the floor. Cas could see long gashes running down his forearm. The left leg of Dean's jeans had turned almost completely red from soaking up his blood. There were large holes were the monster had bit into him. How Dean was going to walk on that leg Cas could not imagine. After another minute of trying to slow his breathing Dean sat up and began to examine his leg. He winced when he tried to move it closer to him. Dean slipped the plaid shirt away from his shoulders. He began tying the shirt around his leg.

Dean dragged himself to the wall and leaned against it. He let out a deep shuddering breath. He looked down at his leg still trickling small amounts of blood. The color that was still in his face left. Cas was sure that Dean was about to faint. He was still too close to the chasm for comfort. What if the creature in an act of revenge climbed its way out of the pit and came looking for Dean, Cas wondered. Dean let out a few more steadying breaths before looking to his left to gauge how far from the hole he was. Apparently he had the same thought process Cas had. Very slowly he picked himself off the ground. He kept most of his weight on his right leg and used the wall for support. Gingerly he put more weight on his left leg. It trembled violently beneath him. Cas noticed the look of determination that was planted on Dean's face. He would not take weakness from his body. He evened out the weight on his legs and winced terribly at the pain. Cas looked around the area of the maze he could see, searching for some tool that Dean could use to relieve some of the burden from his leg. Cas only remembered even if he found something he could not help Dean find it when the room shifted their perspective once more. They were now staring at Dean's back though they were still at eye level with him. It reminded Cas of games he had seen the Winchesters play when they weren't working cases.

"That was disappointing. I was certain he was going to be eaten. Still the anticipation..." Jeeves trailed off. Cas and Sam continued their silent agreement about ignoring any commentary from the being next to them. Cas kept his eyes glued to Dean's back. His black undershirt clung to him. He was hobbling down the maze. Every few seconds he had to stop and lean his back against the wall. Cas wasn't sure how Dean was going to complete this maze let alone any of the other trials.

"How many trials are there?" Cas demanded taking his eyes away from Dean to stare daggers at Jeeves.

"Won't that ruin the mystery?" Jeeves asked as he grinned.

"Tell me." Cas demanded once again.

"Hmm" Jeeves brought his hand up to stroke a fake beard. Cas assumed it was his attempt at dramatic flair. He felt a muscle in his cheek twitch from restraining the anger he felt. After a theatric pause Jeeves said

"If Dean manages to finish the maze, which he might the middle is around here somewhere..." Jeeves moved his hand in a circle and looked out of the glass. Cas thought he was going to drag this moment out as long as he could.

"Then there is only one more task." Jeeves finished. Cas let air out of his nose and turned away from Jeeves to watch Dean. One more task was not so bad Cas reasoned. Though these tasks had increased in difficulty and it was likely that the last was bound to be the hardest.

"The last task is courage then?" Sam asked. Cas had not thought about it that way. What task could they possibly set to test Dean's courage. Fighting a goliath bare handed and working his way through a maze that literally wanted to eat him seemed enough of a courageous test.

"No wonder they say you are the smart one." Jeeves responded.

"What's in the middle of the maze?" Sam asked in response.

"Come on now! You don't want to ruin all of the surprises." Jeeves answered.

Cas stopped watching Dean who had managed to make three successful right turns without pausing to rest.

"What's in the middle of the maze?" Cas repeated the question.

"Oh alright. A puzzle and spell if you must know" Jeeves answered with an air of annoyance.

"A spell that does what?" Cas asked. Jeeves stared at him for an uncomfortable amount of time before answering "It unlocks the fourth task and I don't think you're going to like it."

"Why?" Cas asked but before Jeeves could answer Sam grabbed Cas' arm. Cas turned to look out the glass. Dean had rounded another corner and was facing a square room like area. As far as Cas could tell there were two breaks in the wall right across from another. Dean was staring into the area. Cas could see the other side of the maze through the other break. Dean walked into the pseudo room slowly. The area was not very big. Barely large enough for Dean to take more than three steps before leaving. If he had not been walking so slowly because of his injured leg he might have missed it. Dean turned to his left to face a small wooden table pushed against the wall. On top of the table there was a tea set with three tiny tea cups that appeared to be filled. Dean did not touch anything instead he backed away and scanned the rest of the room searching for instructions. He turned in a half circle slowly. When he reached the left side of the room he paused.

Cas saw what had made him pause. Engraved on the wall was one line of instructions. Dean moved closer so he could read them and as he did they became clearer to Cas.

_One is poison, one is tea, one will set you free. _

_"_How is he supposed to figure it out?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Did we forget that this is a test of wisdom?" Jeeves asked.

"This is a test of luck." Sam responded.

Dean had walked back over to the table and was staring at the three cups on the table. As far as Cas could tell there was no way to discern between them. The cups were solid black and the liquid inside of them was clear. Dean reached over and picked up the cup nearest to him. He turned it slightly in his hand and peered at it closer. Slowly he brought the cup up to his nose and sniffed. Expressionless he returned the cup to the table and reached for the second. He repeated the same process for the second cup. He crinkled his nose before returning the cup to the table. Could the solution be that easy? Would smelling the liquid give him a clear answer Cas wondered. Dean picked up the third cup.

"What happens if he drinks from more than one?" Sam asked. Cas turned to face Jeeves curious about the answer.

Jeeves gave a large shrug of his shoulders and smirked back at Sam. When Cas turned back Dean had replaced the third cup and was staring down at them again. Apparently his initial observations had not given him adequate information.

Dean crossed his arms. He was concentrating on the cups in front of him without moving. The task had given him a momentary distraction from the pain in his leg. Cas wanted to reread the inscription on the wall but couldn't see it because of the position Dean was in. Thinking along the same lines Dean turned and looked over the inscription again. He did not look long as there was no new information. He turned back to face the cups. After another moment's consideration he shrugged his shoulders and took a small step so that he was right next to the table. He reached down and fingered the edge of the first cup. Quickly he dipped his pinky into the liquid. He pulled his hand up to his mouth and sucked on the digit he had just placed in the cup. Cas imagined Dean running his tongue slowly across the fingers in his mouth and had to remind himself that Dean's life was on the line. Now was not the time for erotic fantasies. Being human was strange Cas thought as he shook the sex from his brain.

Dean contemplated the taste in his mouth. He waited a moment expectantly. Nothing happened. He reached down and moved the cup to the side before grabbing the second cup. Slowly he dipped his ring finger into the cup. Slowly he placed his ring finger into his mouth and tasted the liquid. Again he waited for something to happen but nothing did. He replaced the second cup and repeated the process for a third time. After waiting to see if he died he replaced the third cup and stared at them for a long time. Cas ran his fingers through his hair waiting for Dean to make a decision.

"Don't worry. He's got this." Sam placated at his side.

Tentatively Dean picked up the second cup. Knowing this could very well be the last thing he ever did he hesitated. He let out a small breath of air and brought the cup to his lips. He tipped it back and swallowed the liquid in one gulp. He waited. Cas could feel the tension of the moment pass between Sam and himself.

"Hmmm" Jeeves said cutting the tension in the room. Cas turned to look at the being but he was no longer in the room. He had appeared next to Dean and caused the potentially poisoned man to jump. The quick movement reminded Dean of his injury and he backed himself against the wall to help support his weight.

"Very good Dean. I would be lying if I said I wasn't impressed." Jeeves congratulated. His voice echoed as though he were standing right next to Cas. Apparently whatever he had to say to Dean was important enough that he thought Sam and Cas needed to hear it in surround sound.

"I'm not dying then?" Dean questioned.

"No. I am here to set you free" Jeeves answered. The emphasis that he placed on the last word gave Cas a chill.

"But first let me fix that leg for you. You can't very well complete the final task with that extensive of an injury" Jeeves continued. He waved his hand. Feeling instantly relieved Dean squared himself up to his full height.

"Good." Jeeves paused and put his hand on Dean's shoulder "Onto the final task."

Dean and Jeeves disappeared. Cas and Sam were stuck staring at the empty maze. .

"What now?" Sam asked turning to face Cas.

"No idea but look the maze is gone." Cas pointed out the window. Instead of staring into an empty maze they were looking into complete darkness. It made Cas uncomfortable. He turned to face Sam instead.

"I suppose we just wait until Jeeves comes back. I imagine he wants us to watch Dean complete the fourth task." Cas said

"Probably. What do you think it is?" Sam asked. Cas shrugged his shoulders. He was more nervous about this task than all of the others. Something Jeeves said had struck him.

"It's about courage and he said I especially would not enjoy it. But I have not enjoyed any of these really." Cas voiced what he was thinking aloud.

"Me neither" Sam said. Silence spread between them while they waited for Jeeves to return. Ten minutes passed. Cas considered sitting on the couch behind them. He had not realized how tired all of these life and death situations were making him. If he was being honest had had a headache the entire time Dean was in the maze but repressed it well enough that it had not bothered him too intensely. Just as he was about to turn and sit down Jeeves appeared between him and the sofa.

"Don't quit now Castiel. The show is about to start." Jeeves said with a note of condescension. He waved his hand and the darkness of the room through the window was replaced with an image of Dean sleeping comfortably in a bed.

"What is this?" Cas asked. He watched Dean's still form.

Jeeves chuckled darkly before answering "It's Dean's life." The door of the room Dean was sleeping in flew open in ran a small blonde child. He climbed onto the bed and jumped on top of Dean. Dean woke with a start and wrapped his arms around the child. Cas did not understand what was happening. He looked over at Sam to see the same bewildered expression on his face.

"Oh! I should clarify. It is Dean's life without you." Jeeves said. Cas turned to face him.

"This is the fourth task?" He asked. Jeeves smiled.

"No. He has to remember you. That's the fourth task." Jeeves answered.


End file.
